Frazzled image
We keep hearing from pretty much everyone around us: “I’m so/too busy” or “I have no time” or “I’m sick of all my running around”. It seems we have overscheduled ourselves or have simply not learned how to manage our time. Of course, one could say that I have no right to talk about this as I don’t have a regular “job” to go to. But, for the moment, that is my choice. Hopefully once the estate is all taken care of I will be able to continue doing what I am doing and actually increase my business and make a living. Yes, for now, it is enough. Later, well, I’ll deal with it.
That said, I feel “everyone’s” pain. I have been everyone. Most of the “everyones” I am talking about have spouses and kids which means that not only are their own schedules full of their own stuff, they are full with the happenings of their kids and spouses. Between everyone’s activities, the housework, the job, the taxi-service they find themselves providing, or even having to take it all on because the spouse just happens to be away for work. It seems so glamorous for outsiders looking in. “Wow, how cool is his/her job that she must travel to new places! They get to leave the humdrum of everyday to go out there and see new people.” How exotic is it really to go to the Grand North of Quebec or the City of Toronto, or whatever town one is being shipped to for business. Seriously. The person travelling, even if they are being shipped off to Paris for a clothing show, is so scheduled that they themselves cannot even take the time to visit the place. Yes, I will admit there are things to see and do in Toronto! The spouse left behind has to take on the roll of chauffeur, dental/doctor/whatever appointment taker, grocery shopper, house cleaner, etc. and still go to their full- or part-time job and hopefully, find time to go to the gym or whatever it is that they enjoy doing.
Yes, there are single parents out there who have been doing it all on their own for years. They have learned to cope and organise and do the necessary to make it happen. They have found their rhythm. They (hopefully) know what they can and cannot do with the hours given to each of us in every day. And they, too, are probably “sick of running around”, etc.
So what happens when your usually-present spouse, who usually participates in these various activities, suddenly is not there to lend his/her helping hand ~ or should I say, take on their part? (No, I am not talking about the households where the spouse never does anything to help! The spouse left behind falls into that category of having figured out their time as a single parent would! See above.) The left-behind parent becomes the frazzled “I’ve-no-time-to-breathe parent”. And this, whether for a few days or a few weeks or more.
So, what to do? Well, when this happens and you wish you could go have lunch with a friend but don’t really have the time ~ see above rambling ~ you tell that friend to join you at Costco for a shopping/gabfest! If you’re lucky, you run into a mutual friend and waste share that time chatting in the aisles blocking the cheese section!
I call this “Grabbing Little Moments”. Oui, Marie-Claude, I am talking of us this morning! It sounds so trifling or trivial but these little moments may actually give you that little boost you were needing to not go over the edge!
So, with three-quarters of an hour to walk Zeke in the frigid air and take a shower, that is exactly what we did! We grabbed a little moment and next time, we’ll splurge and add the time for a coffee first!
It was seriously nostrils-sticking-together cold out there but I managed to snap a few pics during that walk!
It’s true, Dale, we get ourselves so bogged down with the necessities of life we forget to appreciate and take those little moments for ourselves. It doesn’t take much, like you said, and it can change our course for the rest of the day.
One thing, it’s nice to have our four-legged companions with us. Take care, my friend, and I’m happy to see you’re well and doing better.
It really doesn’t and the person I shopped at Costco with sent me a note telling me how much our little encounter changed her task into a pleasant moment! Her day turned around and mine continued in the upbeat mood I had been in all morning!
Oh, without Zeke, I might find myself curled up into a corner, letting time pass me by without participating in it…
Amazing, Dale, how we don’t realize how so many little things we do in a given day can make such a difference in someone else’s life. I’m happy for you and for her that you had that chance encounter. And, Zeke — oh man, what can I say? I know what you mean and how much our animals fill our lives. So glad he’s there for you. 🙂
So true! And, yes, Zeke…
Hello Dale,
Glad you found even “a little moment” to connect with your friend. It’s true that little moments can make all the difference.
Wishing you all good things,
Carol
Thanks Carol. It seriously doesn’t take much, does it? Right back at ya!
I miss those moments of kismet! Of allowing serendipity to find you. Even at Costco:).
The most “regular” places, eh? Why do you miss them? Do you not make them happen? 😉
The same thought keeps coming into my head. It’s been a bit over 2 months since your life drastically changed. As I read your posts and interact with you, I keep smiling and cheering for you because you seem determined to move on. That doesn’t mean you don’t hurt or don’t get down, but you are focused ahead … so keep pressing forward.
See Frank? Told ya you were an ole softie… well, no I didn’t, did I? The list had Kind, sweet, witty, smart but not “ole softie”.
I do thank you for being in my cheering section (it really makes a huge difference to have you there). I am definitely determined to move forward and you are so right, I will get hurt and do get down but I don’t want to remain in those feelings. Will definitely keep pressing forward, with the help of all the kind-hearted people who take the time to read me.
Wow … look at all those adjectives … I’m touched … on the other hand, there’s something no guy ever wants to be called. I can’t imagine do this for a living. http://tinyurl.com/kbxpmhn … hmmmmm … (I wonder if she’ll click it)
Not only did she click it, she read the whole damned article. Think I’ll be sued for using the word “softie”? I promise not to put it on a white truck and dress you in blue…
Now that’s funny!!!
Great advice! No matter how busy you are it’s so important to snatch whatever time you can to just connect with others or do something for yourself. It’s these little things that keep us sane (or thereabouts ;)).
Ain’t that the truth. Do enough of the little things that make us happy and the bigger things that don’t, don’t feel so big!
Dale, congratulations on your new career as a thief. I once considered being a cat-burglar, but then thought better of it after I remembered, Cats have an occasional hairball problem. Stealing moments here and there though, what a clever idea, they’ll never catch you.
Oh yeah…I’m counting on it! And definitely would think long and hard on the whole cat-burglar thing… Besides, cats are just plain nasty creatures (I know, I’ve got 2. They are useless creatures who just leave their hair (and hairballs) all over the place AND eat all your telephone, iPod, etc. charger cords…
Thank god they only have 9 lives. So you’ll only have to support them for 18 more years.
Oh hell no!!! They are my boys’ cats… when they move out, the cats go with them!
A ha, no more cat-house for you! Well, probably just as well, you can’t throw a cat a bone.
Well…the boys are not gone yet. It’ll be a few years yet!
My dog’s way more fun…
You’ll never be able to get the boys to chase a bone, unless perhaps, a chicken bone is tossed. But your boys and your dog will remain devoted to you, so that’s not such a bad deal Dale. ;O)
Unless there is cash attached… 😉 The dog is about the only one devoted to me – but that’s because I feed and walk him… I do feed the boys as well but somehow, they take that for granted! 😉
Sounds like the boys need a walk too. But don’t tell them to take one, we boys take things so literally, and we get lost easily.
Hmmm…there are days…did I mention they are 15 and 17?
Perhaps the most vulnerable age group of all, for boys. Unless you count after after we become 18. Then we are asked to do the impossible … use ours minds. That’s so hard!
True. Not the best age to lose their father.
Oh Dale! I am so sorry. You have my condolences truly. Did it happen recently?
Yes, sadly. December 21st,2014. 3 days after his 51st birthday… I actually wrote (what I’ve been told) a good post on it! https://adelectablelife.com/2014/12/29/a-little-heart-to-heart/ – should you feel like reading it – definitely no obligation!!!
So young, and I am very sorry to hear that. It has to have been very tough on you and the boys, and at that particular time of the year. So I am wishing you nothing but great memories, and a strong bond to get you all through a very heart-breaking experience. We all have suffered loss at one time or another, and I’ve learned there is very little that helps except allowing time to grieve.
Thanks, Paul. We have sooooo many memories. As a matter of fact, I am starting to write them down and will be sharing them on this-here blog! ‘Tis true. We lost our first-born at the age of almost 8 months (he had a heart defect) so I know all about that time thing. It’s been 18 years since his passing… Now when I think of Austin, it always is with a smile. Same thing with Mick – well it WILL be!
Been there, I know all too well. Sometimes its so tough being human. I think in my next life I’ll ask to be an alien. But then I’d miss earth.
Oh dear. ’tis rare I “meet” someone who’sa been there. But you wouldn’t miss Earth as you’d be an alien from somewhere else that you would call home! Who says we remember from one life to the next where we’ve been?
Must be the Amneisia.
Pingback: Creative Links #12: Routine, Idling and Finding Time for Ourselves | concretemoomin