Friday Fictioneers is here and I am posting on this Thursday night because, frankly, I just had so much trouble coming up with a story! I had all sorts of ideas and none could make it “to paper” so to speak. I decided to throw caution to the wind and try something new. Thank you, as always, to Rochelle for graciously hosting this party. Erin Leary, thank you for your photo. It truly had me stumped this week! And, to Sandra Crook, long-standing member of this troupe, kudos go out to you for winning First Place in the 500 Flash! That is so wonderful (and the story is great!)
For more FF stories, or to add your own, click on the blue frog!
Genre: Attempt at Prose
Word count: 100
IDYLL
Sandy beaches, as far as the eye can see
Sunshine blazing
Heat rising in waves off the pavement
Parasols dotting the seascape
No bare spots to be found
Burnt and tanned bodies
The scents of various sunscreens
Drinks with little parasols
Scents of barbecue and sweets
Steel drums and Calypso music
Idyll?
For some
Fields of lily pads
Straw hats and bent over bodies
Humidity that soaks your clothes in no time
Cacophonous city centre
Tinkle of bicycle bells
Hawking of street vendors
Incomprehensible language
No room to move
Unfamiliar spices wafting
Melodious, enchanting, yet jarring, music
Idyll?
For others
Different strokes for different folks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s right!
LikeLike
I think you did a very good job! Well done at showing the differences and similarities depending on point of view
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh thank you!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice, highlighting the differences in people’s ideal holiday/day out. Neither of these sounds idyllic to me, though. Too many people in both 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hear you and couldn’t agree with you more! Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Neatly contrasted, Dale, but somehow you seem ill at ease with both scenarios.
I suspect that your idyll lies in a deeper, more meaningful, environment.
But I do like that you achieve the first goal of Sound Bite Fiction, you provoke thought.
Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, mon ami I am I’ll at ease with the whole thing and am relieved I did manage to get my thought across.
Truly appreciate your comment.
LikeLike
Dear Dale,
I’m the last one to critique poetry. I like the images and you had me in both verses with sight, sound and scent. I say your experiment is a success. That’s also what Friday Fictioneers is about, isn’t it? Trying something new in a safe environment. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh thank you, Rochelle! I was hoping to get the idyll as prose itself, as a description of an enjoyable scene (not so pastoral, but to each his own!).
Yes, I felt it would be a safe environment!
LikeLike
This is so true, love it! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aww thank you, Willow.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I liked this. The contrast was well executed. And thanks for the heads-up! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Sandra! Means a lot. And well-deserved!
LikeLike
I love the contrasts. Well done. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, kind lady!
LikeLike
I;ll take the second choice every time, smells and all. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it would be so much more interesting! Really getting a feel for the culture!
LikeLike
Nice contrast, Dale. The first part appeals to me more, even with Steel drums and Calypso music!
LikeLiked by 1 person
See? For me it would be because of the steel drums!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is great, I love your experiment. The contrast comes out very well, and it’s a great take on the prompt. My idyll would be a lot less populated and a lot more nature, but from time to time I enjoy both of your idylls, too. It’s not either, or, but give me all of it. 😉
LikeLike
Thank you so much, Madam! I am also of the “and” variety and not the “or”!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it’s hard to find comfort in any of the opposing poles.. Maybe what we all need is what is “lagom” (Swedish word for the inbetween)
LikeLiked by 1 person
For sure, Björn…though I do know some people who enjoy both of my opposites!
LikeLike
I really enjoyed this, Dale. And I hear you. I struggle every week! But, I so love when I write a story. You should be proud of this, too. Like others have said, maybe neither scenario is perfect. I really like the tinkle of the bicycle bell. Maybe the things that seem familiar make us comfortable.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Any! I really appreciate that! I am – now (with all this great feedback)!
I think whatever destination we enjoy is best!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think this was a really creative way to use the prompt Dale – lovely imagery.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. Thank you, Andrea!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is lovely. It’s often hard to dip one’s toes in experimental waters. Brava!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Alicia! Happy you liked!!
LikeLike
how about an option for the rest of us? ah, but that would exceed the 100-word limit. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactomundo! Neither one appeals to me either!
LikeLiked by 1 person
True for most tourist spots I imagine. Think of the kitchen staff, bed changers, gardeners… Nicely portrayed and well done for tasking the something-new risk.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Patrick!
LikeLike
You covered both sides very well, Dale.
I like your prose. The imagery comes through in every word.
I like to listen to Calypso and steel bands but it can be boring after
several songs. “Sandy beaches, as far as the eye can see
Sunshine blazing” … uncomfrtable sunburn comes to mind.
I think I’d like a quiet sapce in a sunny room with a book. 😁
Isadora 😎
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Isadora! I must confess, I like sandy beach vacations but not on overly crowded ones. And I will sit under a parasol away from the blazing sun, thank you very much! With a book in hand… 😉
LikeLike
An Idyllic soul will find both the contrasting environments idylic. Nice poetry. I like the sound and sights you have described here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Ansumani! Muh appreciated!
LikeLike
Writing poetry always scares me – well done! This works well. Very multi sensory.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh thank you so much!!
LikeLike
I love the experimentation, Dale. Keep pressing on with it. Shows a whole other side of you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Jean! With great support from you, I shall!
LikeLike
Oh good! Have a great week.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the opposition! Such beautiful imagery as well! You were very creative and imaginative with this! Hope all is well in your world, Dale! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awww! Thanks, Kelly!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Welcome sunshine! 🙂
LikeLike
Lovely contrasting images and nicely constructed lines. The pictures you paint are evocative and atmospheric.You did well with your experiment. I enjoyed it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Margaret!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You hit it because so much of life is about perspective.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, kind sir!
Good morning to you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
PS … Good Monday Morning to you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well done, Dale. Very strong images you’ve painted there, although I’d not want to be in either place. It’s all too sweaty for my liking! Makes me long to travel to the Norwegian Fjords, or the blustery Outer Hebrides.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I so.hear you. Neither one appeals to me either, frankly!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice parallel.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree that I don’t like any crowded places or loud noises these days. I don’t like processions here for that reason. Good contrasts and descriptions, Dale. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Suzanne!
LikeLike
Very successful venture into the realm of poetry, I love the contrast in your verses. This is great, Dale!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Loré!
I think I shall start thinking of this as a success!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nicely contrasted images! I like that you’re writing poetry for FF! Creatively done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh thank you! Glad you enjoyed.
LikeLiked by 1 person