Friday Fictioneers is here and I am posting on this Thursday night because, frankly, I just had so much trouble coming up with a story! I had all sorts of ideas and none could make it “to paper” so to speak. I decided to throw caution to the wind and try something new. Thank you, as always, to Rochelle for graciously hosting this party. Erin Leary, thank you for your photo. It truly had me stumped this week! And, to Sandra Crook, long-standing member of this troupe, kudos go out to you for winning First Place in the 500 Flash! That is so wonderful (and the story is great!)
For more FF stories, or to add your own, click on the blue frog!
Copyright Erin Leary
Genre: Attempt at Prose
Word count: 100
IDYLL
Sandy beaches, as far as the eye can see
Sunshine blazing
Heat rising in waves off the pavement
Parasols dotting the seascape
No bare spots to be found
Burnt and tanned bodies
The scents of various sunscreens
Drinks with little parasols
Scents of barbecue and sweets
Steel drums and Calypso music
Idyll?
For some
Fields of lily pads
Straw hats and bent over bodies
Humidity that soaks your clothes in no time
Cacophonous city centre
Tinkle of bicycle bells
Hawking of street vendors
Incomprehensible language
No room to move
Unfamiliar spices wafting
Melodious, enchanting, yet jarring, music
Idyll?
For others
Different strokes for different folks.
That’s right!
I think you did a very good job! Well done at showing the differences and similarities depending on point of view
Oh thank you!!
Nice, highlighting the differences in people’s ideal holiday/day out. Neither of these sounds idyllic to me, though. Too many people in both 🙂
I hear you and couldn’t agree with you more! Thanks.
Neatly contrasted, Dale, but somehow you seem ill at ease with both scenarios.
I suspect that your idyll lies in a deeper, more meaningful, environment.
But I do like that you achieve the first goal of Sound Bite Fiction, you provoke thought.
Well done.
Thank you, mon ami I am I’ll at ease with the whole thing and am relieved I did manage to get my thought across.
Truly appreciate your comment.
Dear Dale,
I’m the last one to critique poetry. I like the images and you had me in both verses with sight, sound and scent. I say your experiment is a success. That’s also what Friday Fictioneers is about, isn’t it? Trying something new in a safe environment. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)
Shalom,
Rochelle
Oh thank you, Rochelle! I was hoping to get the idyll as prose itself, as a description of an enjoyable scene (not so pastoral, but to each his own!).
Yes, I felt it would be a safe environment!
This is so true, love it! ❤
Aww thank you, Willow.
🙂
I liked this. The contrast was well executed. And thanks for the heads-up! 🙂
Thank you, Sandra! Means a lot. And well-deserved!
I love the contrasts. Well done. 🙂
Thank you, kind lady!
I;ll take the second choice every time, smells and all. Well done.
I think it would be so much more interesting! Really getting a feel for the culture!
Nice contrast, Dale. The first part appeals to me more, even with Steel drums and Calypso music!
See? For me it would be because of the steel drums!!
This is great, I love your experiment. The contrast comes out very well, and it’s a great take on the prompt. My idyll would be a lot less populated and a lot more nature, but from time to time I enjoy both of your idylls, too. It’s not either, or, but give me all of it. 😉
Thank you so much, Madam! I am also of the “and” variety and not the “or”!
I think it’s hard to find comfort in any of the opposing poles.. Maybe what we all need is what is “lagom” (Swedish word for the inbetween)
For sure, Björn…though I do know some people who enjoy both of my opposites!
I really enjoyed this, Dale. And I hear you. I struggle every week! But, I so love when I write a story. You should be proud of this, too. Like others have said, maybe neither scenario is perfect. I really like the tinkle of the bicycle bell. Maybe the things that seem familiar make us comfortable.
Thanks, Any! I really appreciate that! I am – now (with all this great feedback)!
I think whatever destination we enjoy is best!
I think this was a really creative way to use the prompt Dale – lovely imagery.
Wow. Thank you, Andrea!
This is lovely. It’s often hard to dip one’s toes in experimental waters. Brava!
Thank you, Alicia! Happy you liked!!
how about an option for the rest of us? ah, but that would exceed the 100-word limit. 🙂
Exactomundo! Neither one appeals to me either!
True for most tourist spots I imagine. Think of the kitchen staff, bed changers, gardeners… Nicely portrayed and well done for tasking the something-new risk.
Thanks, Patrick!
You covered both sides very well, Dale.
I like your prose. The imagery comes through in every word.
I like to listen to Calypso and steel bands but it can be boring after
several songs. “Sandy beaches, as far as the eye can see
Sunshine blazing” … uncomfrtable sunburn comes to mind.
I think I’d like a quiet sapce in a sunny room with a book. 😁
Isadora 😎
Thank you, Isadora! I must confess, I like sandy beach vacations but not on overly crowded ones. And I will sit under a parasol away from the blazing sun, thank you very much! With a book in hand… 😉
An Idyllic soul will find both the contrasting environments idylic. Nice poetry. I like the sound and sights you have described here.
Thanks Ansumani! Muh appreciated!
Writing poetry always scares me – well done! This works well. Very multi sensory.
Oh thank you so much!!
I love the experimentation, Dale. Keep pressing on with it. Shows a whole other side of you.
Thank you so much, Jean! With great support from you, I shall!
Oh good! Have a great week.
Love the opposition! Such beautiful imagery as well! You were very creative and imaginative with this! Hope all is well in your world, Dale! 🙂
Awww! Thanks, Kelly!
Welcome sunshine! 🙂
Lovely contrasting images and nicely constructed lines. The pictures you paint are evocative and atmospheric.You did well with your experiment. I enjoyed it.
Thank you, Margaret!!
You hit it because so much of life is about perspective.
Thank you, kind sir!
Good morning to you!
PS … Good Monday Morning to you.
Well done, Dale. Very strong images you’ve painted there, although I’d not want to be in either place. It’s all too sweaty for my liking! Makes me long to travel to the Norwegian Fjords, or the blustery Outer Hebrides.
I so.hear you. Neither one appeals to me either, frankly!
Nice parallel.
I agree that I don’t like any crowded places or loud noises these days. I don’t like processions here for that reason. Good contrasts and descriptions, Dale. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
Thank you, Suzanne!
Very successful venture into the realm of poetry, I love the contrast in your verses. This is great, Dale!
Thanks so much, Loré!
I think I shall start thinking of this as a success!
Nicely contrasted images! I like that you’re writing poetry for FF! Creatively done!
Oh thank you! Glad you enjoyed.