Good Wednesday, my reader peeps! Friday Fictioneers is here and after a little bit of joking around last week, I decided to write something silly. Hope you get a wee laugh.
Join Rochelle’s band of writers and give us your version of this image by clicking here. Thank you Ted Strutz for a fun photo. I probably would have taken this pic too!
Click on the Blue Frog if you wish to read other takes on this pic. It is fun to see where people go…
Genre: Silly (I dare not say hysterical) Fiction
Word count: 100
The Punishment
He came to, bum numb and shoulders aching. He tried to stand up but couldn’t. What the hell?
Oh, I see you are awake, my Scottish friend. Comfy?
Why am I tied to this chair yards from shore? What have I done?
You kill or torture innocents weekly. And you mock my typos. I promised our leader I was going to do you in this week!
Oh really? And you choose this numpty way? You should read more of my stories for inspiration! Besides, killing off people is not your style.
Well yes, I do know that. But I promised.
A Dalectable Life 
Dear Dale,
He had it coming. I enjoyed seeing him on the receiving end. Bwahahahahahaha! As Cuzzin Notnek would say, “5 out of 5 dunking chairs.”
Shalom,
Rochelle
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😉 all in good fun. I just don’t have his talent for offing…so I didn’t really, did I…
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Close enough. You captured his voice. He he.
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😆
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Note, Rochelle, that Dale used the word “numpty” … remember our FB chat, when I talked about “numpties and twollers”? 😀 Obviously numpty is a UK and a Canadian word!
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We actually got it from ce himself!!
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Actually, I believe Dale learned the word from one of our resident Scotsmen, Mr. Ayr. 😉
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Yep!!
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Well, the Scots are still British at the moment 😉 I knew that the word numpty came from north of the River Thames, although I thought it was only as far north as Birmingham.
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There you go! So we learn something new every day!
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A deliciously worded vendetta!
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Hah! Thank you, Christine!
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Numpty.
Numpty?
And a “….numpty way”…?
Is that a Scrabble word?
XOXOXRRR
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LOL! It’s a Scottish word for stupid or foolish…😉
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A unique way to dispatch someone. You’re learning from the master himself.
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I’m trying… but ‘Tis a lofty goal!
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I am pretty sure I can guess who his next victim will be next week… 🙂
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Ummm….dang…
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Hmmm, anybody we readers/participants in FF might know? Ironically I remember a romantic tale (kind of) coming from a certain Scottish writer this week 😉
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Hmmm might just be!
Of course he went romantic this week… like he knew…
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He must have read your mind, or I guess knew the future since he wrote it earlier. It’s still a good one!
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Or something… managed to one-up me!
Thanks, Trent!
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I am always romantic.
Just sometimes fatally so.
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This is true… 😉
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A noble act, but I fear that the water is to shallow for the deed to be done. 🙂
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The tide has yet to come in…
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Indeed
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Haha! Funny. A fitting end for the cheeky Scotsman. And lovely use of the word numpty – one of my favourites 🙂
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Thanks, Lynn!
Let’s hope he appreciated…
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🙂
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Hey, whose side are you on?
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Hee hee…
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Haha! Always your, of course, chuck 🙂
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😂
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🙂🤗🙃
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Ha ha!!
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You’re correct, that is a funny one this week. Well enjoyed, Laddie!
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Laddie…. is a Lassie (if you meant me…)
And thank you!
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OOPs, sorry. Lassie it is, then. Great write!
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😉
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I love “numpty.” And I pictured an editor sitting in that chair!
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Hee hee! Why not?
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Pesky editors.
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😀
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Definite smiles for the week … But I still like that a body was dumped and the chair marks the spot. 😉
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That’s one way of looking at it, Signore!
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Of course I was also picturing someone sitting on the chair, then down they go.
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I considered laying the chair on its back…😉
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.. and more images from there.;)
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😁
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Chapeau, ma belle amie, laughing aloud here.
I confess I forgot you this morning, although perhaps Grandma was subconsciously created with you in mind?
But for now I concede with whatever grace a numb bum allows.
Bien fait, ma chérie
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Merci mon cher beau bonhomme! Very happy you are laughing…
Hmmm… was she?
You are a gentleman and a scholar! xo
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And I don’t mind being Grandma…will you be the traveller?😉
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Very funny! A mischievous story!
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Indeed! Once in a while….
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Was that his nose or did Firehouse Five just bleach their hose?
Five out of five footprints in the butter. 😀
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Ha ha ha!
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I really wish I understood this, it sounds hilarious!
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To be honest, I don’t either… 😉
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It is, trust me on this.
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Clever! 🙂
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The one I am targeting is the handsome Scot named ce ayr… 😉
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Excellent, Dale. The Numpty Method is not to be underestimated!
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That’s what I told myself!
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Dale, this is a delightful poke at our not-so-numpty Scottish man. Left me smiling.
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So glad it did. Was all in fun!
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Oh, I think he’s getting a good laugh from it. I love how we FF regulars can poke a little fun at each other. Makes for good community.
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It does indeed! And he did laugh so…. we good!!
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you’re quite mischievous this week. but well done. 🙂
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Thank you… I like being mischievous!
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You’d make a terrible villain. That’s probably why we are so fond of you my Canadian amiga. I’m sure he was terrified.
Tracey
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I would, eh?
Then I’m glad you like me as I am, Tracey!!
I’m sure he was… ummm once he stopped laughing!
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Oh dear the poor guy never had a chance. Never saw it coming. Must have felt like
‘Wee, sleekit, cow’rin, tim’rous beastie,
O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!’
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Ha ha!
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Revenge is yours, I’ll make sure to be careful what I say in future. 🙂 You had me laughing with the rest
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So very glad I did, Michael!
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A promise is a promise 🙂 I did get “a wee laugh”!
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Hee hee! Happy you did!
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Bum numb! Love that 😃
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Hee hee!!😉
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For some silly reason, I’m reminded of the gameshow scene, “What’s My Perversion” in Woody Allen’s “Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex but Were Afraid to Ask.” There was a rabbi who wanted to be tied to a chair a whipped with a wet noodle (or something like that).
As Kent would say, “Five out of five wet noodles.”
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Good grief! I won’t even go there!
Glad you liked?
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I see C.E. didn’t even mention your typo in the header this week. 🙂
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Shit!!! I didn’t even see it!
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Still giggling. Bum numb – fantastic.
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So very glad😁
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That’s a very funny story. Well done. I would love to know how Ted Strutz got hold of one of my kitchen chairs for the photo, though 😉
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So glad you liked… I’m thinking I should have included an alternate ending but sometimes, we just need to leave as is!
We’ll have to ask him!
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Touche!
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Ha ha!
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Oh dear! Such revenge. Great tale this week Dale. Sounds like he deserves what is coming
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Ya think? It was fun to write…
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Nice last line, Dale… but I promised.
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Hee hee!!
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Such joyous repartee on your comments for your hilarious tale.
Ahhh … laughter is good medicine. Grand if all involved are enjoying the humor. Well done, Dale. Thank you for a fun read.
Have a super weekend …
Isadora 😎
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It was fun to write as well! So very glad you enjoyed it
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Some promises just have to be kept, numpty or not.
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Right? 😉
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Ha.. it’s not easy if you’re not used to do it. Reminds me I haven’t killed anyone in ages… maybe I would have been targeted otherwise
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Well… let’s just say it is not in my nature!
But maybe if I keep trying?
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I do approve of this numpty way. It’s pure genius, Dale! He had it coming.
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Why thank you, Amy! So glad you approve! 😉
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Clever and enjoyable! An easy read and seemed like you enjoyed writing it, too. 🙂
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I did indeed and am glad you did as well
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Lol…killed it! 😉
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He he he! Thanks!! 😉
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Haha – great fun!
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Glad you enjoyed!
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Pingback: Revenge is Sweet – Friday Fictioneers | Sound Bite Fiction
😂 I’ll give you a falut! Then we”ll swoon!
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Haha love it. Although I have seen what happens when he is slighted. We rarely see our beloved Anja any more.
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Oh dear… have you seen this week’s? He’s gunning for me now!
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I have 😀 It’s what brought me here. Him and Anja used to kill each other off regularly. Unfortunately real life has got in her way of writing. I am looking forward to how this plays out. 😀
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Ahhh… cool then! I now am feeling pressure!
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😀
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The gauntlet has been tossed says the purple-haired pygmy. Let the games begin!
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😂
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I’ve got the popcorn
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Ha ha ha!!
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sounds like some negotiation might happen? maybe?
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I dunno…we’ll have to see how this plays out!
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ok- I will keep reading along….
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😊
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“mock my typos” Tie them up! I love it.
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There was a whole thing going on between Rochelle, c.e. ayr and me. We were torturing or killing each other off. Quite fun!
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