Home » Friday Fictioneers » Damaged But Still Standing – Friday Fictioneers

Damaged But Still Standing – Friday Fictioneers

Good Wednesday, my Readers!  ‘Tis that time of the week where we get our lovely email from the even lovlier Rochelle, where, once we’ve read hers (well in MY case, anyway), we take our copy of the photo she chose – quite the one from Sandra Crook this week! – add it to our own blog and try to come up with something no one else thought of; something original; something outside of the box… you get the picture.  Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck!

Anyway, ’nuff foolin’ around.  If y’all wanna play, click on the cute blue frog and add your link… Just remember.  MAX 100 words, not counting the title…

Get Froggy’s code

Word count:  Was gonna do 87, bulked it up to 100 (hope it wasn’t overkill)

Damaged But Still Standing

The woman sat at the window seat of the more than run-down diner, one of only three customers who had braved entering the premises.  She marvelled that the bloody thing was still standing, never mind open to the public.  Wondered how it could be possible.  And how could it be open to the public?  And how could anyone even work there?  How could a building with holes going right through it, cracked all over and falling apart not only stand and survive, but actually function?

She looked out the grimy window, her vision blurred.  Actually, she could more than understand.

 

 

 

106 thoughts on “Damaged But Still Standing – Friday Fictioneers

  1. This had body and legs. With a brilliant head on it’s shoulder, a.k.a the title, A good read, no coddling required.

    I was just thinking today, just how resilient some people can be…have to be.

    • No. Unfortunately I seem to have missed the mark on this one.. In her describing the building that is so damaged but still functioning, she is also describing herself.

  2. That’s a very well written story, Dale. You carefully prompt us to think of all the difficulties and dangers of the derelict but still functioning diner. And your twist, saved for the very end, shows that your main character is equally damaged in some unspecified way – could be age, injury, disability, emotional trauma. And that lack of specificity, combined with the fact that the main character isn’t named, takes the story to a new, higher level, because now she can represent any one of us who has been damaged but is still standing and functioning.
    That’s proper writing, that is, and has my greatest respect.

    • That is high praise indeed, Penny. Thank you so much for totally getting this. I’m positively chuffed (not British, but just seemed the perfect word to describe my feeling!)

  3. A beautiful allegory of survival, of fellow feeling with somewhere so rundown, so seemingly hopeless, but still surviving. I imagine a woman still living a life after losing many she’s loved, those closest to her. And yet she keeps breathing even on days she thinks she really can’t. Lovely

  4. Your writing gets better and better, Dale. I’m so proud of you. This is such a deep, multilayered piece. I’m so, so glad that I persuaded you to have a go writing a story for FF in the first place, having talent spotted you and seen the spark 🙂

  5. An understated story and yet such a brilliant tale that hints at rather than explaining the vagaries of life. The restaurant metaphor was spot on! Great write, Dale!

  6. I liked that you beefed it up to 100 words (and just now realized the play on words can fit an eatery) and my fav part was the looking out at the end- we went from all the processing inside the diner and the breakdown and then made the overall connection to the larger society and what might be going on there as well – such a moving piece, D

    • Thank you, Amie. We definitely do, don’t we?
      So very glad it worked for you! I swear, the first few comments had me worrying!

  7. I’m not sure if you meant to be comical, but I chuckled at the last paragraph. She was smart enough to look upon herself before passing further judgement. Though I think being a little broken, or dysfunctional is not a bad thing. Nice story, Dale 🙂

    • Thank you, Jan. I dunno how much age has to do with it… But there could be an important factor! It could also be how much life had thrown her way.

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