Ahh Crispina. You’ve done it again. You have enticed me to join in on your CCC challenge again this week. Of course, it is Valentine’s Day today. Of course, love is on so many people’s minds, and to a certain extent, mine as well. That Google “Remember this day” sure didn’t help by reminding me that five years ago today, my husband and I celebrated our last one together with him decorating the dining room with all things heart, making me a meal and gifting me with my camera. On my own since December of that same year, many thoughts on what I want or don’t want have criss-crossed my mind, going from, I really hope I meet someone, to, well, how about I meet someone who doesn’t need to have me 24/7? There is something to this doing her own thing that quite appeals, even if occasionally, it can be lonely. Enough rambling. To my submission!
“You don’t need a man to make you happy”
“You’ll be lonely remaining alone”
“Don’t be so picky”
“Don’t lower your standards”
Words thrown from all directions, including internally
What happened to making your own choices?
Trusting your own judgment?
A tasty meal with the perfect wine, wonderful conversation, followed by delicious sex
Why can’t that be enough for you?
Friendship, movies, a walk in the woods, holding hands, kissing, star-gazing
Why can’t that suffice?
Must it be all one?
And none of the other?
Where is the “juste milieu”? for me? for you?
One wants it all
The other wants just some
Neither can be forced
So, for now, I shall remain firmly planted at that junction
Forced neither left nor right
And should someone come along that makes my heart sing
And for whom I do the same?
Then let that path open wide.