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The SPAM Files

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Might become a series, might not. I shall see 😉

I was doing that fun job of emptying my SPAM folder here on WordPress. It is amazing (read: annoying) just how many land in there. And heaven help us if we don’t go through it regularly (at least once per day if not more).  I made the mistake of missing a couple of days.  Matter of fact, I started this here post with the nine I had “saved” before supper. When I came back, I was up to 28.  Jayzus.

Anyhoo, that is neither here nor there. After flushing the twelve pages (yes, twelve) of offers for this drug or that one; warnings about this or that malady, the Russian-Who-Knows-What-the-Hell and the offers for porn, I found myself with a few comments that looked like they could have been from real followers.  Followers whose comments end up in SPAM through no fault of anyone’s but WordPress’ aleatory decision.  They were not.  This is what they were:

outline for writing an argumentative essay told me:  You commit an error. I can defend the position. This was for my poem “Highs and Lows” – which means, I guess, that I may not feel what I felt when I wrote about Mick’s presence being felt at all gatherings? I feel I am no longer certain.

the 5 step essay writing process told me:  Excellent. For my post “Fête Nationale au Québec” – where I explain the June 24th holiday celebrated here in Quebec and in a few French speaking areas.  At least this one garnered approval, right?

independent essay writing question toefl told me:  I here am casual, but was specially registered at a forum to participate in discussion of this question. – for my post “Friday without Plans” – a silly post about going with the flow, weeds, flowers, stuff.  Not sure what they mean. Maybe I need to join a special forum to deal with this?

Gossamer-winged

writing study abroad essay told me:  This variant does not approach me. Who else, what can prompt? for my post “Top of the Hill – What Pegman Saw” – A little story taking place in The Lake District of England about two people meeting at the top of a hill. This was a prompt post – apparently not a good one or maybe this story didn’t resonate. I’m not sure… it happens. We can’t please everyone…

writing good opening sentence for essay asked me:  Analogues are available? for my post “Advent Calendar – Day 24” where I introduce Yesterday and Today:  Merril’s Historial Musings – Hmmm… I dunno. I’ll have to ask Merril’s opinion on this one. Merril? Are analogues (sic) available? 😉

harvard summer school writing college essay exclaimed:  Here so history! for my post “Fun Night With the Piano Guys” I dunno… does nine years in business warrant being part of history already? Maybe these peeps foresee that these guys will make history or are making history. They are right, actually. These guys are fabulous.

essay writing format for high school students said:  So happens. Let’s discuss this question. for my post “A Better Plan – Crimson’s Creative Challenge #23” – about a couple spicing up their love life.  Maybe these peeps think I need therapy. I’ll consider it even though I think Bill and Gin are onto something…

And finally:

what is the big picture when writing an essay who apparently needs more deets:  I apologise, but you could not paint little bit more in detail. This for my post “Disturbed to Centred” – Maybe I should have given even more details, though these posts of mine tend to already be wordy. Maybe they didn’t understand what I meant about going from being frazzled to calm via a nice walk with Zeke and a chat with my new friend Marco. Not sure.

 

You may have noticed that all these “writers” have one thing in common.  They are all seemingly attempting to write essays.  Should I help them?

Naaaahhhhh

 

 

146 thoughts on “The SPAM Files”

          • It’s possible. My son has to take care of my computer system. He’d added things and changed wp setting individually including all the analytics so it has now stopped, but I wouldn’t be able to explain all he did. IT took him and he’s a tech comp specialist an hour to do. I hope you find a simpler answer. I hate the changes wp has made. absolutely hate them. I went from 1500 viewer to 800 because of it. I’m not happy. They really don’t care though, and I’m wondering who are they trying to impress because the people that use wp aren’t.

            Liked by 1 person

          • There are setting that can be changed, Google Analytics Dashboard and I believe they are under Dashboard. I’ll have to ask him when he comes home. I know its quite involved. He pays for a special site outside of wp for me because word press dropped me when they made changes and I was completely lost to any readers. The problem seems to be related to “Reader”. I’ll ask more when he gets back.

            Liked by 1 person

          • I never use the Reader, or almost never. I know I can put keywords into the discussion box of the settings to throw them into the trash. The only thing that worries me is that I’ll still have to go through it in case a true follower writes that particular word…

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  3. Some SPAM comments are simply hilarious. I posted the haiku poem that I titled “Fly by Night”
    Wings over hayfield
    moonlight in the hunter’s eyes;
    the grasses tremble

    And received the following comment:

    I wish to express my appreciation to this writer just for rescuing me from such a situation. Because of looking through the world-wide-web and seeing advice that were not productive, I assumed my entire life was done. Existing without the presence of solutions to the difficulties you have sorted out by means of your entire guideline is a critical case, and the kind which might have negatively affected my entire career if I had not noticed your blog. The competence and kindness in handling all the things was very helpful. I don’t know what I would have done if I had not discovered such a subject like this. I am able to at this point look forward to my future. Thank you very much for this professional and sensible guide. I won’t think twice to recommend your web page to anybody who requires guide about this topic.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Q,

    Apologies in advance. I will speak more properly, and such . . from here on. With nary a tinge of WTF involved. Promise.

    Hey umm . . random question. What does aleatory mean? 😉

    Russians dominate my inbox to such a degree, you’d swear I was on Trump’s payroll. Matter of fact, I should really make sure I’m not, in fact, on Trump’s payroll. Yep, that much.

    No arguments where Mick is concerned. Anybody who says otherwise? Spam.

    How comes the 5 step essay writing process is seven steps shy of peeps looking to stay sober? Don’t they know about us writers, and what we love to . . . umm . . do when . . umm . . researching?

    I happen to question my own independence when it comes to anal retentive literary gardening. Because I can’t get past “toefl”. I just can’t get past it . . .

    Fret not, Dear Q. “This variant does not approach me” was the working title for what would eventually become the “He’s Just Not That Into You”. And the author of that book was a communist. I know. Trump said so, and since I’m on his payroll (I checked . . WTF), I have to agree.

    Analogues are available for a thumpty hump every seventeen years. They make an absolute racket in the process, so be advised.

    Oh hey, that wasn’t harvard summer school writing college essay who replied with “Here so history!” to your fun night with the Piano Guys. ‘Twas me. Yeah, I just wanted to change things up a bit. That “B” guy tends to drivel on. “Here so history” sounded so . . I dunno, Daniel Day Lewis on Quaaludes. All kitschy like that.

    Well it’s rather obvious that essay writing format for high school students has never been laid.

    And big picture . . that dude needs more details because he ran out of penis pills and he’s got a helluva long night ahead of him whilst trying to recreate Caligula . . by hand. To which I will spare you any more details because I think I already done said too much!

    Spicy, sexy, smart and spammy.

    B

    Liked by 1 person

  7. A few days ago I started getting a bunch of comments in my spam folder, almost all of which contain the word “essay,” just like the examples you gave. I went to my “Discussion” settings and put the word “essay” on my blacklist, which sends any comment with that word directly to my trash folder. The next morning when I woke up, I checked my trash folder to find 83 comments in there, every one of which had the word “essay” in it. I’m so happy that WordPress has a one step “Empty Trash” button that deletes everything in that folder en masse.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So, they go from SPAM to trash? Well now… since I’ve taken care of the “essay” ones for a post, I guess I no longer need them! I thank you!
      No kidding, WP has many good things…

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Dear Dale

    Leave it to you to post a blog that I’ve been thinking of for sometime. Lately I’ve gotten a lot of Chinese and Russian ‘comments’ in my spam folder. None this morning but I did get this one on my 2017 March 10 post…a bio piece about Cass Elliott:
    “I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good.
    I do not know who you are but certainly you’re going to a
    famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!”
    I do not know how you ended up here or why you’re leaving a POS ‘comment’. Every morning I find at least 6 or more in my Spam folder. My favorite is the end of the world messages.
    There…going to delete SI do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good.
    I do not know who you are but certainly you’re going to a
    famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!am. Thanks for the chuckles.

    Shalom and lotsa real hugs,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Rochelle,

      It has been a long time in the back of my mind to write something. I had kept some of the spam for that purpose then didn’t know what to do with it, so I flushed it. Yesterday, I just had to go with it 😉

      And, you are too funny! Fandango (gasp!) Actually gave me a trick to have these go right to trash instead of SPAM… though I would fear that other comments could end up there, too. So either way, One must go through them…
      Thanks for adding my chuckles to yours!

      Shalom and lotsa non-robotic love,

      Dale

      Like

  10. Oh gosh–I’m all out of analogues, but if you would like, you can request to be put on the list for when I have more in stock. hahahahaha
    I think a lot of these spam things are bots. They just put random words together. I deleted a lot of spam about a week ago, and I don’t have that much now, but sometimes a real comment from someone I know ends up in the spam folder. I also get strangely-named probably not real followers for my blog. Funny post, Dale. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I check my spam at least twice a day and find it so amusing when they are telling me how informative my post is and that they will follow my advice, and it turns out to be one of my challenges. I get the same stuff as you though, pharmaceutical companies, poker, gambling, grew tired of the Viagra ads and beauty products. One button and the whole lot go, but I do check in case some of my regulars have got misfiled through no fault of their own.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I dunno, Eilene… it seems to have exploded so I half-worry I did something that has attracted them! Mind you, it has been great fodder for material! I had kept a whole other slew of them way back for this purpose but didn’t know how I’d go about it. Now that I’ve started this “series” … 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Once in a while and out of perverse curiosity I may go in my SPAM folder for a laugh. It seems that some…thing is gathering random words in order to creep into our pages! It is fan reading these surrealist ‘comments’ from a naturalistic point of recreation planning autobiographical transportation within minimalistic opportunities flabbergasting the occult persepolis unanimous and prompt by no cause or ghost but on butterfly rollercoaster tumbles rumbling on and on and on…. you get my point huh?!!!! Needless to say: I love your post! 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Did you get one from the guy who wears pink hats & only dates weather conditions & mythical creatures?
    Well, if you do, forget it!
    Still, this is better than the Rockford Files, only you’ll need to move to a house trailer. ⚡️💥

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Pingback: SPAM JAM | Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

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