Home » Friends » Out With the Old, In With the New

Out With the Old, In With the New

‘Tis that time of year, isn’t it? Big ideas, resolutions, promises, goals and dissing the year that is closing up tonight at 11:59.  So many peeps have said things like “Thank God it’s over, 2019 was the worse” or “2019, WTF was that?”

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
Søren Kierkegaard

Was it really that bad?  I mean, seriously.  Yes, there have been some serious meteorologically awful situations (typhoons in Asia, heatwaves in India, cyclones in Africa, bushfires in Australia) and I suppose I could focus on shootings and political brouhaha going on all over the world but really, that’s not my style, is it?  I am no Pollyanna but I do choose to give more attention to the good that is going on, rather than the bad.

So what is the purpose of this post? Nothing, really. I guess, like, say, 75% of the planet, I’m feeling reflective.  Reflective, not in the throw back without absorbing way, nor to show an image of way Not to embody or represent in a faithful way, nor to bring credit or discredit to anyone or anything way. And certainly not to bring about a good or bad impression of way.  No, no, I’m talking about thinking deeply and carefully about things

“Sometimes, you have to look back in order to understand the things that lie ahead.”
Yvonne Woon, Dead Beautiful

And so, I take this time to think back on the year that is about to end. I’ve made choices that have brought me to where I am today. While I am not entirely in awe of some of them, I am also choosing to look at them with a different eye.  I am pondering on the ‘why’ of said choices and no longer angry at myself for making them in the first place. We all have a journey to take and, if we are wise enough to pay attention, any tripping, wrong turns, bumps in the road are, in fact, stepping stones towards something more, something better. It doesn’t matter what that something is because we each have our own. Others will give you advice or points of view – solicited or not – and we again have a choice to listen and accept, a portion of or all; or nod politely if said advice does not mesh with ours, and continue on our own path, at our own pace.

“Reflect upon your present blessings — of which every man has many — not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol and Other Christmas Writing

By choosing to look at the good in my life ~and there are many, the not-so-good might actually start looking not-so-bad in the end. Well, let’s be honest. There are some things that are harder to swallow and turn into good or a valuable lesson – but these lessons are usually the ones that have the most impact, aren’t they? When we are forced to look in the mirror and acknowledge our part in what is going on, our misplaced pride takes a hit and we are humbled. There might still be some anger attached but, if we are honest, that anger dissolves into acknowledgment and then we can now focus one what to do next.  Blessings, I have many. Misfortunes, I have some.

“We always see our worst selves. Our most vulnerable selves. We need someone else to get close enough to tell us we’re wrong. Someone we trust.”
David Levithan, Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List

And you know what? On those days where we just can’t see the good in us, then we should not be shy to go to our closest allies. The ones who know us, love us for who we are, and are not afraid to tell us the what’s what, followed by an “I love you. You got this. I’m here for you. And you are good enough.”

I am very blessed to have these peeps in my circle. Some are close and some are far, but all are within reach.  To you, I say thank you. I love you.

And now, how about we ring in the NEW?

I wish for you to find the happy in what the new year brings, for love to warm your heart, for health to keep you moving forward, for friendships to keep you sane (or bring out your crazy), for enough prosperity to allow you to enjoy and take part in living your life. May laughter always be a part of every day!

HAPPY 2020!!

We’ve got this!

 

94 thoughts on “Out With the Old, In With the New

  1. Happy New Year, Dale! I like your reflective reflections. Wishing you more good than bad this year–and lots of it–as well as all the other things you mentioned. I’m so glad we’ve connected in blogger/social media land. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Call on me any time – for a reality check (well, SOME kind of reality … ;)) and to bring out the crazy (if need be), and ya know, just because, why not.
    Hugs and happy 2020! May it be all we need it to be, and may there always be plenty of blessings to count and only few misfortunes.
    XOXO
    Na’ama

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I will have to count this year as good, no, great, no, MASSIVE because I met you, and so many other phenomenal people doing this blogging thing! The coming year is full of promise, we just need to spread our arms wide and greet it as we would an old friend. Thank you for being you. Happy new year!

    Liked by 3 people

    • What a fantabulous thing to say, Tim!
      This blogging thing is a wonderful thing indeed. And yes, all we need to do is spread our arms wide.
      Thank you for being you, too! Happy New Year!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. A couple of thoughts … we all make decisions and take actions we end up regretting later. And, yes, I beat myself up plenty over past decisions and actions. But, here’s the deal … in the moment I made those decisions or took those actions, I was doing what I believed was the best at the time based on everything going on. That’s why I try to spend as little time on regret or looking back as I can. Frequently, I fail at that. 😉

    Other thought … I’ve said to a number of people in recent years as they struggle with self-doubt that when they look in the mirror they need to look at themselves the way those who truly, deeply love them see them. No more of the harsh glare of self-doubt and self-loathing. Believe in yourself the way your best friends do.

    So, Dale … Happy New Year. Here’s to fewer regrets, and more love and laughter. I’m grateful that I have “got to know you” this year through our social media connections.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I feel ya, Mark. Absolutely we make decisions and take actions that make us think – shit… what the hell did I do? Like you, I waste no time on regrets – at least, I cut that time short when I reailse I’m going there 😉

      It is so true. We always judge our own selves much more harshly.

      Happy New Year to you, Mark. I am also grateful our paths have crossed in this wonderful place called the blogosphere…

      Liked by 2 people

      • Greetings, Dale!
        I’m delighted to meet you this afternoon, over at Curves ‘n Angles! (And hello, kingmidget/Mark! Friends of friends so often turn out to be really interesting folks!)

        So true, that we are often our own harshest critics, and in Truth, “We’ve Got This!”
        I’ve spent most of the past year re-learning that, and “when you know better, you’ll do better”, as Maya Angelou said.
        I have to grin, too because my (first post in 2 years!) is about the meaning of “Auld Lang Syne”! Sync! https://curvesnangles.wordpress.com/2020/01/04/corky-siegel-on-auld-lang-syne/
        Happy New Year to all!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Hello Karen!
          Wonderful to meet you, too, Karen! I could not agree more…. (’bout interesting folk).

          We are. So yeah, We got this!
          That is my favourite Maya quote.
          Yes, I read it!
          Happy New Year!!

          Like

  5. And now that year is done and dusted, and we’ve survived the lessons, maybe taken something from them, time to get on with the new. A bright year, a clear year, with 2020 vision (I thank Padre for that image). Happy New Year, Dale

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dear Dale,

    I consider you one of my closest friends regardless of the distance and the fact we’ve never met in the flesh. I’ve appreciated the way you’ve shared both my joys and my sorrows. Here’s to another year of more of the same. 😀 ❤ Since it's morning as i write, I toast you with black coffee. 😉

    Shalom and lotsa hugs in 2020,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Rochelle,

      Isn’t it funny how that happened? I think we are extremely lucky to have connected as we have. I’ve appreciated our mutual sharing of dreck and divine 😉 Since it is noon and I just got up, I toast you with my milk-only coffee!

      Shalom and lotsa love in 2020,

      Dale

      Like

  7. Reflection is the watchword for me at New Year’s. By reflecting, I can better comprehend some of the choices I’ve made, see where I need to make better choices and (hopefully) execute as appropriate. That said, Auld Lang Syne, my friend. May 2020 provide you with love and laughter throughout the new year.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Q,

    The new yearness wore off hours ago and now I’m feeling 20 again, because the calendar tells me it is so. It’s funny because I never thought civilization was going to make it to 2000 with the way things were going, and now here it is, twenty years later. And I don’t rightly know IF civilization made it to the year 2000, LOL. Because it feels as if we are in the Twilight Zone most days.

    As for my resolutions, I will swear smarter and steer clear of Chick-fil-A. And okay, so these are things I was gonna do anyways, but that simply makes it a win!

    Here’s wishing you a year of pluses with scant few minuses. And good health, the most important thing of all.

    MUAH! 2020 style.

    B

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m part of that other 75% who’s reflecting now, too, and thinking about my choices and priorities and how I want to consciously tweak those to better fit my values in the next year. But I’m here visiting with my family and trying to start conversations about such topics, and they seem to be in the other 25% who aren’t interested in such things. One of them (not naming names) said something like, “Yeah, there are things I’d like to be different, but then I’d have to change my behavior, and I’m not willing to do that, so there’s no sense making resolutions I know I’m not going to keep.” Hmm, okay.

    So it’s great that so many of my blogging friends are having the same kinds of thoughts that I am, reflecting back and looking forward in a constructive and hopeful way. Thank you so much for sharing, Dale. We got this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That stuffs a conversation, doesn’t it? Sheesh. Well, you just remain in that 75% and keep on keeping on, Joy! We’re the ones who will move forward and be better peeps for trying.

      I find that in this blogosphere, we find more like-minded peeps than in “real life” (so to speak. Coz this is real life just different!)
      Thank you, Joy! We do!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yep, sure does. This reminds me of a conversation I was having last night at the NYE party. The woman was bemoaning the loss of community for young people now that they live in big cities and don’t go to church. I agreed somewhat, but pointed out that I came from a small town where I spent a lot of time at church, and found that while that community was technically “strong” it was also oppressive (or at the least, not supportive) to anyone who didn’t perfectly fit in. Whereas now, people can go online and search a much broader group, and find others who really understand and relate to them. And that’s a great sense of community, whether you meet those people in “meat space” or not. ❤

        Liked by 2 people

        • Yes. I have had that very same conversation – even saying myself that maybe the loss of going to church has reduced the sense of belonging – when it’s not oppressive, of course. I never was much for going to church in the first place as my mother had had her fill of the whole thing so was not inclined to induct us into that world…
          On-line we find people who don’t judge and accept us as we are 😉 I love this community! 💞

          Liked by 2 people

  10. Happy New Year, Dale! I love this: “We all have a journey to take and, if we are wise enough to pay attention, any tripping, wrong turns, bumps in the road are, in fact, stepping stones towards something more, something better.” Good words to live by 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Thanks for your thoughts about the past year and sharing your wisdom. I’m at a stage in life where often what I choose is how to engage whatever shows up. On the large stage I chose to move back to Cleveland to be in my grandchildren’s lives and I would do it over again a hundred times. The rest comes as surprises that accompany the aging process. I can deal with this. The world is distressing, but like you I look for the many good things still hidden in plain sight. Happy New Year, Dale!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Funny, I normally love to reflect and review the year as it fades into the distance, but I didn’t do any of that this year. I even missed the dropping of the ball. The day sorta came and went without any hoopla.

    But I do love the new year and the opportunities that await us and the chance to do it better! I wish you laughter, the deep belly kind that touches your soul.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think it depends on my own mood 😉
      Probably didn’t feel the need to so… And I was in Old Montreal completely missing the dropping of the ball but enjoying the festivities and fireworks.

      It does always feel like a clean slate, doesn’t it? Oh yes, belly laughs are the best! May you feel them often and with full heart! xoxo

      Liked by 2 people

  13. I hope you gave yourself a huge hug for your bravery in 2019! Moving and all the other bits that entails–sorting through a life, coming to terms with it, creating anew as you wish it to be. I’ve been thinking of you as I turn a bedroom into a proper guest room. Choosing paint colors, etc. and trying to be happy about it versus sad that it’s no longer a little boy’s room. Here’s to killing it in 2020!

    Liked by 1 person

    • How about I do so now? This month is the month I start (finally) putting my house in order to bring it to a place I am pleased with. There will be a room available this summer to be turned into an office/guest room (for maybe those times, one day, when he will return for a visit and maybe a sleepover…)
      Cheers to killing it in 2020! 🥂

      Like

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