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With a Thud

Here you are, feeling rather fabulous. The one who means the world to you tells you you are sexy. Your friends tell you you are looking great. Hell, you look at yourself in the mirror and say, Damn, Girl!  Looking good!.

You meet up with your beautiful and fabulous friend, Michèle, for a way-past-due lunch and you laugh and giggle and enjoy your tuna tartare and wine and dessert and coffee and next thing you know, you are the last ones in the restaurant and it’s been three hours of catching up.  A hug and a kiss and a promise it won’t be so long ’til the next time and we part ways.

I am right next to a large shopping mall so I figure I shall treat myself to something pretty and lacy. I have something in mind so I enter the store, walk around, don’t see what I want and move on to the next one.  Same thing until, bingo!  Exactomundo! And they have my size.  Now we’re talking. I enter the changing cabin, strip down to try on and suddenly, I am Cathy (shopping for suimsuits is just as disheartening).

So now my fabulous mood has vanished and I’m calling myself all sorts of names.  I chastise myself:  “Of course you had to ask for more croutons. Did you really need them?”

I get home, change into my workout clothes, bundle up and tell Zeke, who manages to work up a smidgeon of enthusiasm, that he cannot come as he is till limping and even if he were in fine form, I am on a mission and I have, no time for three hundred stop, sniff and pisses.  I look at my Fitbit and see I have 7000 steps to go. Or is it 8000? I don’t have my glasses and can’t see shit. Either way. I am out the door.

My pace is quick and my rant in my head turns into a composition for this here post. I walk and walk and walk. Check the Fitbit. Wha? Only 5K? Jee-zus.  Turn onto every curvy street determined to march off this mood.  Check again. 6K? WTF? Is this thing working?

Get to my house and I am a good 700 steps short. Screw it, I keep on and go once more around the block. I can’t believe it took me an HOUR to get my steps in!

I enter the house, pat Zeke on the head, strip and wash off because, despite being freeze-your-face cold, I have managed to work up a sweat.  Change back into regular clothes, take a look in the mirror, ignore my hat hair and note my bright eyes and rosy cheeks.

I then give myself a second scolding:  “Don’t you dare talk to yourself in that tone of voice again, Missy. D’y’hear me? You are fine, just like you are.  Next time go shopping BEFORE you eat lunch and drink half a bottle of wine. What the hell were you thinking?”

 

150 thoughts on “With a Thud

  1. Q,

    Fitting rooms should be outlawed. The inventor of fitting rooms should be brought up on charges of crimes against humanity- posthumously. I mean, really . . would it kill them to give us soft lighting and friendly drinks?

    That said, you look absolutely scrumptious. You do you, girl. The hell with those fitting rooms! And could you umm . . pass the croutons while you’re at it? 😉

    B

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As I will continue to say whenever women say things like this … when you look in the mirror, look at yourself the way the people who love and care about you look at you. You are a beautiful woman, both inside and out. That’s always going to be the case.

    But, my god, woman, tuna tartare!!!! Blech!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Dear Dale,

    Tuna tartare sounds delicious to me. I had tuna sushi for supper. Raw tuna is my friend. That being said…YOU! are. a. delightful. woman.
    This seems the other half of the conversation we had this morning. (Yeah…still freaking over 2 lbs). Funny I told Jan it was freeze your face off cold after my swim. GMTA. Oh those crazy sizes we women have to put up with. I have 3 bras made by the same company and they’re the same style and different colours. Supposedly they’re the same size NOT.
    At any rate, I felt your pain.

    Shalom and lotsa designed for a perfect fit hugs,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Rochelle,

      It was absolutely delicious. Raw tuna is the best. You! Are the sweetest!.
      I’m just a few pages from finishing LDWA – so nunya talk about two pounds! It’s beyond ridiculous. Men don’t deal with this crap. Waste size is waste size. I LOATHE bra shopping. Here I was, thinking I’d treat myself to something cute and sexy. Pffft. Not this time.
      I know you do.

      Shalom and lotsa lacy love,

      Dale

      Like

  4. The only good use of a mirror (other than to fix your hair or makeup) is to make sure your skirt isn’t hitched into your knickers. Other than that, there comes an age when the mirrors of the world gang up on you and become your greatest enemies. A happy lady is a beautiful, sexy lady no matter the dimensions, the lumpy-bumpy bits and a bust-line three inches below the cut of the garment.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. You mean, there’s a good time for buying a swim suit?!!!!! It’s my worst nightmare, before or after food and I believe it’s those horrible mirrors at the shops!!!!! …and yes: you’re Gorgeous! 🔆🌸🌹
    😘😘😘😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

    • It would appear this is a universal woman’s issue 😉 Oh yeah. Sometimes, my hour-long walks turn into hour-and-a-half because of these ‘most necessary’ stops 😉

      Like

  6. I’m with Mark on the tuna tartare … but I’m all in on the chat and wine. I know what you mean when getting together with a friend for breakfast or lunch without an end time. Meanwhile, in terms of your shopping experience, two things … you had me laughing … and I know better than to comment otherwise. Keep smiling & lookin’ good!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You don’t know what you’re missing 😉
      The chat and wine is THE best thing ever. Glad I had you laughing as that was the point of writing this. And I thank you, she says with a big smile!

      Like

  7. Totally with you on this one, Dale! LOL, do not go shopping for certain types of clothing without proper emotional support!

    I saw this great post (of course I can’t find it) from this young woman about how Instagram photos lie by only ever showing the angles and times that the people look super thin and hot. She showed photos of her gorgeous body in various one-and-two states — standing up straight and posed like a fab model, then standing normally in a candid shot and looking all pouchy, or before and after a big meal — with captions like “my real body” and “also my real body.” Point being, even those young hotties look frumpy from the right direction, so don’t beat yourself up about how that mirror is treating you at any given moment. Especially not after a big meal!!!

    Like

  8. You always make me want to have your spirit and determination–and you look great!
    I’m at the stage where I wonder who that old lady is in the mirror and photos, and the days when everything I tried on was too big is long gone–well, except for length, that won’t change. It does get frustrating when I go to the gym regularly and get my steps in every day . . .but. . .here’s to long lunches with friends!

    Liked by 1 person

        • It is just so frustrating. Sizes are aleatory for women’s wear. A size 10 in one is a size 14 in another. You can’t just go in with a couple items you find cute all in the same size. The mirror is but part of the process!

          Like

          • I don’t get women’s clothes.
            Why are so many of them designed by men? (yeah, I know one answer)
            Why don’t women’s clothes have functional pockets?? Everyone needs pockets!
            Why does the women’s sizing formula use the daylight savings and setting your clock a few minutes ahead to fool yourself into being on time logic?
            Sheesh!

            Liked by 1 person

          • I swear. And why do some stores go by 9-11-13 and others by 8-10-12? Why is one small the equivalent of an extra-large in another? Why can’t our clothes be like men’s? Waiste size, shoulder size, hip size… ugh!

            Like

          • Don’t know.
            Maybe sizes were based on a grade average curve and every designer used their own unique starting value, or, maybe they weren’t very smart and only used simple numbers, or maybe they were aliens and used simple numbers so we would understand, but the aliens were stupid, or…

            Liked by 1 person

          • Pffft… Maybe Americans don’t like admitting they are fat so designers have “downsized” the numbers to fool them. How else can one end up with a size Double Zero? Honest to gawd. It’s enough to make me… I’ll stop hear and remember I can be a lady…

            Liked by 1 person

  9. There would be SO much to be said, for which I lack the time right now. I’ve been reading this over breakfast…. is tuna tartar like tuna straight from the tin? Or has that one (in tins) been treated somehow as it comes in chunks or flakes? I guess tuna tartar is like a beef tartare, raw slice of meat/fish and fixed up with stuff…. Hero Husband loves it, I don’t.
    Now about changing cabins and lights! I’m at a point where I don’t even bother to get frustration work up a storm. But it has to be said that in my favourite boutique who sells not a single piece of clothing in numbers (except the very rare 2-3-4 of one brand) but in one-size. The market is for the not-typically-formed women with no worries about their appearance and great fun in life, as they have colours, a wide range of fantastic fabrics, and exclusively French and Swiss design/styling/cuts. At least, when you pay kind of a lot of money you know that you get a lot of fabric, brilliant colours, and I never leave without a big smile on my face. The funny bit is that whoever you meet there, they all are friendly, open, love a laugh and a witty exchange, we all compliment each other, and after the 2nd time it’s like visiting friends. I’ve been in many of their shops in different cities in CH, and the funny thing is, the sales ladies are often very small, svelte, of all ages, whereas their clientele is rather on the heavy side, of a certain age, and certainly of all heights…. It’s a winning concept all round.
    And YEP, their changing cabins are BIG, but contain no mirrors, so you have to get out and view yourself in ultra large mirrors. (They do NOT sell underweary thingies, no swim suits or so!!!)
    The suggestions of putting in decent lights and serving drinks could be applauded if it wouldn’t add another size to the already severly challenged customer – but for the lighting I’d suggest candles, arranged in between fresh flowers and soothing music…. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • So glad you don’t have the time… 😏
      Your boutique sounds absolutely fabulous. Wouldn’t solve my bra or bathing suit case, but still…
      Decent lighting would make all the difference…

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I have a triple mirror that was custom made for Kathleen Turner when she was in Toronto working on a movie, years ago. It’s a fabulous piece of workmanship.
    Thing is, I’ve never looked as good as Kathleen Turner, when I look in that mirror.
    Conclusion: All mirrors lie!
    Don’t you forget that, and have fun!

    Like

  11. Reading the comments here was almost as fun as reading your post, which I read and nodded and ‘ohhhed’ and “oyed” and “yep!” through. So, first of all, you are lovely. And I think that there is utterly too much pressure on women to look a certain way, and be a certain (often unrealistic) size, or be judged. And too many of us internalize aspects of it when the only people it benefits isn’t us …
    So, I vote: Be kind to you, and let in others’ kindness to you.
    Oh, and protest for better changing-room-lights. We might want to unionize.
    For the bathing suit piece — I have to tell ya that I’ve come to the realization that I am FAR more comfortable in a pair of bike-shorts/board-short and a tankini kind of bathing suit. A two piece thing that offers enough coverage to be able to walk around in not only on the beach and to keep my (freckly-fair) skin from lobstering and making more work for my dermatologist to dig around in, but isn’t too frumpy. It also happens to be more forgiving in the sense that it does not require special ‘preparation’ (ahem).
    Now, I know many women who wear two-piece bikinis in any size (theirs and the bikini…), and that’s glorious and good for them. But I find that one-pieces are annoying in the gotta-wee-department, and leave bits of my that normally don’t see much sun, exposed to UV rays and self-consciousness. And it cuts into my fun.
    You do you, my dear, but I think that we all of us ought to support each other in being kinder to ourselves and loving what we see — because there is no ‘right size’ or ‘attractive size’ other than for us being us and feeling healthy and good in our skin. That, to me, is the best beauty secret there is.
    Off the podium now (and you can have the raw tuna thing, I’ll have the steak tuna. Nicely charred. A few sips of nice red wine (half a bottle would just about do me in, even a full glass of wine is overkill on me … it’s very economical … ;)).
    Love to you and thank you for your delightful authenticity.
    I’m going to work on my “Better Mirrors, Better Lives” picket sign.
    🙂
    Na’ama

    Liked by 1 person

    • I almost forgot to answer this one! First of all, thank you for your lovely words. I honestly try to ignore all the pressure to be too _______ I am pretty good with where I stand body-wise. Always room for improvement but not at any cost 😉
      Those changing room lights are the absolute worst. Your cellulite becomes the only thing you can see!
      As for bathing suits… this is a real headache. The boobs ain’t standing at attention as they were pre-three-babies. The girls need support so forget about one-piece (besides the fun of having to go to the washroom). A two-piece gives mores support but there’s the rub… finding the top that works with what ya got. A tankini is great IF it has support otherwise, those puppies are sliding out the bottom (which matters less as there is extra material but I ain’t comfy).
      So back to the me being me… I’m all for it. Just find me a damn bathing suit designer who can give me something attractive and non-granny-like that holds all my bits and pieces in the proper places. That’s all I’m asking for.
      Tuna – seared, not charred, very rare, please. I am not a cheap drunk so, half a bottle will do me fine. White or red 😉
      Yes, please do get that mirror thing sorted out, would you?
      Dale xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am so glad you did answer … 😉 Because, yeah, these bathing suits can be a real headache (and other aches, after a time, if not well fitted … 😉 ). There are some torso-covering, boobies supporting tops (some with underwire and ‘cups’ that can do a decent jobs at keeping the girls with a view while not having them fall off the balcony … (or hobnob with the belly button…). I hope you find one that works! Yeah, I have no patience for one-pieces anymore. They pull, they tug, they stretch they lag, they aren’t fun when nature calls, they expose too many of my already-over-sunned freckles on my back, so … yeah, it don’t work for me no more. (I have one, but it’s in the back-up of the backup section of my drawer… and haven’t seen the light of day in years … may not even fit no more anyway …).
        Re: the wine – white is fine, too. Depends on the meal. Perhaps white with tuna, comes to think of it … 😉
        I’m hard at work on designing the union-logo for the ‘Better Lights, Better Lives” campaign. How does “DBL” (double BL) sit with you for the logo/stockmarket release? 😉
        Hugs
        Na’ama

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Ugh. I could tell this kind of story, over and over. You’re beautiful, Dale. That’s all you need to know. 🙂 I often wonder about my pedometer and if it’s working. Some days it takes forever to get in all those steps!

    Liked by 1 person

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