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Finding His Song

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I decided to participate, nay, be inspired by the dVerse challenge from Monday. Sanaa (aka adashofsunny) was hosting prosery Monday and wanted us to use the following line:  “Only mouths are we. Who sings the distant heart which safely exists in the center of all things? – from Rainer Maria Rilke, “Heartbeat.”  We must use the line in its entirety, though we can change the punctuation. We cannot leave out nor insert other words within the line. The story must be exactly 144 words, not including the title.

Though submerged by a dark cloud engulfing him, he managed to trudge forward in life, participating minimally.  Damaged by a love past, he was unable to see the possibility of light and happiness, never mind hear any music.

“Come sing with us, Andrew. It’s all in fun and will surely lift your spirits!”

“Only mouths, are we.  Who sings? The distant heart which safely exists in the center of all things!  She took away my heart and the song within it,” he lamented. “It’s gone and I will never find it again.”

“You are right, you won’t.  Not if you continue in this fashion. You need to step away from that dark cloud, let the light touch you again, my friend,”

“Your friend?  What nonsense, this?”

“Nay, not nonsense.” She tended her hand, “Come with me.  It’s time to see the beauty all around.”

 

 

59 thoughts on “Finding His Song”

    • Thank you, Na’ama! I was determined to break it up! 😉 And yes, he is, isn’t he… maybe that’s why she feels he’s not a lost cause 😉

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  9. Such a lovely tender story, Dale, beautifully wrought. You have taken the challenge of a fairly uneven statement (in my opinion), smoothed it into the folds of your story and it’s done its job. This is great writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Q

    Lovely way to guide someone, with hope rather than judgement. Because as we all know, the former grows while the latter simply adds to a person’s inner torment . . which is a heckuva thing to overcome since it ain’t dressed like torment for the individual.

    I do not know how you think up these scenarios and THEN tuck them into a specific number of words. Not 140, not 150 . .and not anywhere north or south of those numbers. But the exact number, and all the while, crafting it beautifully. A round of brava to go with your morning cup of java!

    B

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  12. No one likes to see a friend weighted by the depression of loss & a broken heart. Yet it is time alone that will fetch the grief-stricken back, though friends do offer advice and hands

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  13. So lovely–gentle and hopeful. A beautiful message. I’m pleased you decided to do it, and you worked that line in so well!
    Just so you know, prosery pieces do not have to be exactly 144 words. They can’t be more than 144 words. It’s confusing because quadrilles do have to be exactly 44 words.
    I love the photo, too!

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  16. Excellent, AGM Dale.
    A lovely piece written beautifully.

    (Although I’m wanton enough to say I kept searching for that word, even wonton.Guess I just can’t get the last post outta my head!)

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