I had a ten o’clock appointment this morning – a way overdue oil change and inspection for the special price of $57.45, which we KNOW will never cost just that because there will be this and the other.  A whole nother story.

I leave my house at 9:25, giving myself more than ample time to get there. I take the exit to get on Highway 132 to head west. This exit, like most, if not all, the ones in Quebec, is beyond annoying. It means peeps have to criss-cross each other to get to where they want to go.  Those coming out of the tunnel and wanting to go east must try to squeeze in by those coming from Hwy 20 (like me) who want to go west. There are three lanes going into two, the middle one being used for either east or west. Heaven forbid the guy going in the same direction as you actually lets you in. No, no, we don’t want that so we force them to slow down by turning towards them. It is quite the spectacle. Of course the two lanes leading west will merge into one so the ones on the right must find their way into the left before reaching the highway itself.  Again, fun stuff.

Once on the hightway, the speed limit is 100 km/h which most of us figure means minimum.  Ahem. And so we drive at 110-119 (because rumour has it the cops won’t waste their time before you hit 120). I am driving along, listening to my music and the traffic slows. The guy behind me is so far up my ass I figure he’d like me to pop the trunk so he could hitch a ride.  There are cars ahead of me and beside me. It is obvious I could not even try to move over and let him fly by. I raise my hand to him in a “what the fuck do you want from me?” manner and ignore him.  The reason the traffic had slowed? There was a truck in the right lane behind a tree that had just blown over INTO THE HIGHWAY! Did I forget to mention the wind is beyond fierce today?

We pass said situation and I can move over. “Honda-Casquette” – We call the young pups with their Hondas and their baseball caps (“casquette”) this endearing term – because they all have the same bad driving habits. My son is one though he doesn’t wear baseball caps.  Anyhoo… Honda-Casquette speeds past me, swerves in front of me and then, get this, slams on the brakes so he can take the same exit I am.  Dude. He is then stuck behind others making their way towards another highway (see merging scenario above).  Soon as he gets a chance, he once again swerves in front of me and takes off like a bat outta hell. I see him flying between cars ahead zipping in and out. I do not wish ill on these drivers because of karma. But if I did…

I pull into my dealer’s garage, greet my service guy, at 9:50, by the way, and regale him and his cohorts with my tale. He then tells me that this morning the peeps with appointments seemed to think the time given was just a “guideline” of sorts.

As if your 7:30 appointment means any time between 7:30 and 8:30.  Sigh. My one-hour appointment was going to be longer, I am afraid.  “No worries, J-F, I had planned on going for a leisurely breakfast and brought my book.”  And off I go, practically blown across the street. Of course it starts to rain and of course, I have no hood on my jacket but I make my way – a good, I dunno 1000 feet away? and arrive rather wet.  Get my booth and my coffee and am promptly forgotten by my waitress.

Two chapters and an empty cup later, my waitress sheepishly comes by and says, so sorry, we’re not busy, which ironically I understand as I now am in the bidness. We make more mistakes and forget more things when we have too much time on our hands. Good thing her colleague noticed me sitting there.  She takes my order, brings me another coffee and I’m happy.

By 11:45, I make my way back to the dealership and sit down, figuring my car should be ready.  I decide to get up to get the wifi password and can see into the garage where I note my car is up in the air. Groovy. I am so glad my book is good.

Jean-François comes to get me sometime close to one o’clock. Total bill? $161.58. A little of this and a little of that.

I had plans to go do some shopping and whatnot but frankly, I just wanted to get home. I drive out of the lot and some doofus has blocked an entrance to another business so the guy coming towards us cannot get in and is blocking his lane. I shake my head and wait for the light, let the guy pass and miss my own light. Fine.  The guy behind me starts honking because we are allowed to turn right on red after 9 am. However, I do not feel inclined to run over the pedestrian who is making his way across. Again my WTF hands go up. The man makes it to the curb so I turn onto my street.  Guy behind me drives to my right on the shoulder only to see there is a truck parked in the way so now he has to come back in. And is lucky the guy in front of me did coz no way in hell I would have.  I am laughing in my car all by myself, lemme tell you.  We pass the truck and the guy once again goes onto the shoulder to take the same exit as I am, which is a grand total of 25 feet (maybe, I may exaggerate) away.  Patience. Zilch.