Boys Will Be Boys – Friday Fictioneers

Good Wednesday morning, my friendly readers.  I’m actually up and at ’em earlier than usual this week.  I don’t usually read any other stories except Rochelle’s but for some reason, I read Sandra’s this morning and glad I did as I almost went the same route!  I’ll have none of that.  Well, not on purpose, anyway!  So… I’ve gone a totally silly route to honour our local funny man, Russell… Of course Russell supplied a toilet pic.  Boys grow up to be big boys, don’t they?  Thanks for dragging us into your bathroom!

And, always, thank you to Rochelle for trying to keep us all in line week after week.  I know, we ain’t an easy lot! 😉

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©Russell Gayer

Boys Will Be Boys

How about this one?

“Beans, beans the musical fruit

the more you eat, the more you toot!

The more you toot the better you feel.

So eat your beans at every meal!”

Or this one:

“Beans, beans are good for your heart

the more you eat, the more you fart!”

The boys giggled.

“Dog smells his own poop first!”

You should know, ‘coz:

“You smelt it, you dealt it!”

Wait… Remember this one?

“Why fart and waste it,

When you can burp and taste it?”

 

Mom shook her head.  What was it with boys and their obsession with toilet humour?

Kondo vs McCartney – Friday Fictioneers

Good afternoon, my Peeps!  Hope all is well in your necks of the woods this fine, though dreary (in this part anyway) day.  You ‘Muricans prepared for your turkey and for the madness that is Black Friday?  I’ll just watch all a y’all from over here, if ya don’t mind.  We Canucks have already done the turkey-thing.  That shopping craze has crawled over our borders but I’ll skip it.  Unless I decide to partake of any supposed savings on-line, from the comfort of my office chair.  But then that would create more stuff.  Oh, what am I talking about?  Read on, my friends, read on…

But first, thanks to our fabulous leader Rochelle for herding us week after week and for this week’s photo!

Join in by clicking on the blue frog.  Remember 100 words or less (not including the title), that’s all you need to know!

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Kondo vs McCartney

Today is the day she puts Marie Kondo’s words to the test.  Jennifer McCartney’s way had gotten her nowhere.  Yes, McCartney’s book was a spoof of Kondo’s, she knew that.  It was hilarious.  Her house was NOT a total disaster of stuff.  Everything was important.  She needed her stuff.  Really.

Yes.  Hold lonely slipper – I’m sure the other one is in the house somewhere – thank it for its service, then decide… keep it?  Or chuck it?   But what if she found the other one?  Then what?

This was so stupid.  Time to call a professional de-clutterer.  She obviously needed one.

***********

In all fairness, you may not have read the books I am referring to…

The Workout – Friday Fictioneers

Good Friday, mes amis!  I cannot lie.  I was stumped for this one.  Like, totally.  However, I decided to let my mind wander a bit and came up with this silly little one.  Hope it makes you laugh.

Thank you, as always, to the fabulous, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting this shindig weekly.  And this week, my thanks go to Marie Gail Stratford for this lovely photo – even though it stumped me!

Should you want to play along, click on the blue frog to add your 100-word story.

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©Marie Gail Stratford

The Workout

Samantha looked up at the building.

“You have lost your mind.  You can’t be serious!”

“Why not?  It’s a great way to get in shape!”

“Dude, we work on the twentieth floor!”

“Right!  Our legs, butts and cardio will be top-notch for our vacation come March!”

“But—“

“No — butts, as in Buns-o-Steel, baby!” Suzie laughed.

“Twice a day, five days a week?”

“Yes, we’ll encourage each other.   We could even do it at lunch—”

“No!  Do not even go there!  Twice per day will be more than enough!”

“I knew you’d come around.  We will totally rock in our bikinis.”

 

To Squeeze or Not to Squeeze – Friday Fictioneers

Good Wednesday morning, my lovely readers.  The sun is shining, the day is bright.  I’ve got a “To-Do List” as long as my arm but first, let’s get the fun stuff out of the way!

Our lovely leader, Rochelle has chosen a photo by the equally lovely Douglas M. MacIlroy.  Will be interesting to see what everyone comes up with!

To find out, just click on the blue frog and go stalking.  How about adding your own version to the mix?  Click on Rochelle’s name to find out the rules and regs.  Quite easy, well, not easy as it seems.  It is a challenge to write a whole story in a mere 100 words but definitely teaches you how to cut the fluff!

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©Douglas M. MacIlroy

Genre:  Fiction

Word Count:  100

To Squeeze or Not to Squeeze

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in even closer to him.

She wiggled a bit, creating a smidgen of distance between them.

“What are you doing?  Why are you pulling away?  Don’t you love me?”

“I can’t breathe.  You’re holding me too tight.  It’s got nothing to do with love!  It’s too much.”

Pouting, he removed his arm and slid further along the couch.

“Better?”

“Much.”

“I don’t understand why you won’t let me cuddle you when we watch a movie.”

“And I don’t understand why you think squeezing me like a captured bird is considered cuddling.”

 

Tomorrow – Friday Fictioneers

Good Wednesday evening (for those of you on Eastern Standard Time), my readers.  I was lucky enough to finish work early today so I can write my FF.  Of course, the price of finishing early was for me to be oh-so-generous and agree to go in tomorrow on my day off as they are short-staffed.  Again.  Sigh.   No matter, here I am now.  Thank you always to our leader, Rochelle, for hosting this party weekly.  Thank you Sarah for a great photo!

Should you wish to join in on the fun, just click on the blue frog to add your story.  Not sure about the rules and regs? Click on Rochelle’s name for the how-tos.

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Genre:  Fiction  – no really, it is!

Word Count:  Please.  Always 100

Tomorrow

2015 New Year’s resolution was going to be a success.  She had everything she needed:  climalite technology tank tops, inner brief, sweat-wicking shorts, shock-absorber sports bras, top-notch running shoes and a one-year subscription to the gym.  Guaranteed success that she would be in great bikini form come summer.

First week was great, she went every other day.  Second week, same thing.

Went to a party and had a little too much fun so she called off her work-out.  I’ll go tomorrow.

2018, new resolution:  Clean out shed.  Well looky here!  So that’s where they were!

Uh-huh.  Obviously tomorrow never came back in 2015…

Maybe I Can Find Jamie? – Friday Fictioneers

Good Wednesday morn, my faithful readers!  Today’s the first day of Friday Fictioneers, a gathering of writers from all over our planet, partaking in a weekly challenge of writing a story in 100 words or less (I NEVER go over or under…)  I had a little fun with this one and hope you enjoy!

Should you want to participate in this craziness that is oh-so-addictive, head on over to the blog of our hostess with the mostess, Rochelle, for the how-tos.  Thank you to Roger Bultot for the use of your photo for this week.  If you just want to see what other writers saw when they got this picture, click on the blue frog.

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©Roger Bulltot

Maybe I Can Find Jamie?

“I cannot wait to visit Scotland, home of my paternal grandfather.  It’s really too bad we never got to meet him, don’t you think?  The Highlands… Scots… Kilts…”

“Oh for the love of haggis!  You are obsessed, aren’t you?”

“What?  Aren’t you curious about where your family came from?”

“Yes, I am, but you’re not.  You’ve been binging on Outlander and are now obsessed with Jamie Whats-his-name from the show.”

“Fraser.  Jamie Fraser”

“Aaaargh!”

“After we visit this old ruin, can we go search for the stones of Craigh na Dun, in Inverness?

“IT’S NOT REAL!!!”

“Pffft.  So you say….”

 

 

Ask For Directions – Friday Fictioneers

I am very happy to say I am typing this from a real computer, not an iPad, at my desk, surrounded by boxes and boxes and boxes… Seriously.  How many books and bobbles do I have, already?

Instead of “doing the right thing” and emptying said boxes and placing the books I shall be keeping into the bookshelves, I find myself much happier writing my little memoir and sharing it with you, lovely readers.  A huge thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting this party, coming up with fabulous stories herself (sometimes two!) each and every week.  As well, we cannot do a photo prompt without a photo, so, shout out to Kent Bonham for this week’s pic.

To participate, just click on the blue frog and you will be brought to the lineup of a bunch of fabulous writers, each one give us a different story.  Try it, you’ll like it!

©Ken Bonham

Genre:  Humourous Memoir

Word count:  Toujours 100

Ask For Directions

 

“The stupid signs for the 417 have disappeared!  Now, where do we go?”

“Hang on, lemme see…”

“Dammit!  I’m stopping to ask for directions again.”

“We have stopped three times already.  I cannot believe we get lost every single time we drive through Ottawa!  This is ridiculous!”

 

I watched Mick wipe his brow with the back of his hand.  It was minus 37ºC, the car window was open and he was sweating like a horse.

 

“You are ridiculous, you know that?  We could never participate in Amazing Race!  Every time we’d get lost, you’d freak out!”

“I know, Rog, I know.

***

Mick could not stand being lost.  I teased him mercilessly about it.  Once, I went on a “by-myself-weekend”.  When I came back, I told him:  “Know what I did while I was out in the Townships?  I took a road that I had no clue where I would end up!”   Needless to say, he responded with a “hardy-har-har…”