Home » humour

Category Archives: humour

The Stories We Could Tell – Friday Fictioneers

Posted on by | 114 Comments

Friday Fictioneers is here!  I’ve been looking at this pic for a good while, trying to come up with something original. So. instead, you get this!  Thanks to Rochelle for hosting this come rain or shine and, this week, thanks go to Liz Young for this wonderful image! Click on the frog below, if you happen to have something better to tell! Remember, 100 words, maximum!

©Liz Young

Frog Car Stock Illustrations – 531 Frog Car Stock Illustrations, Vectors & Clipart - Dreamstime

click to play!

The Stories We Could Tell

Oh boy!  I bet the story for that one is interesting!

No kidding.  Kid does a Ferris Bueller, only, instead of putting it in reverse trying to back up the odometer, puts it in drive and it flies off the stand, through the garage and then through the wall!

Good one!  How about this?  In full War of the Roses mode, wife takes husband’s precious car and instead of squashing it with her big-ass monster truck, puts a weight on the gas pedal and lets it fly!

Oh yeah. That’s good too.

Probably just some dumb-ass who can’t drive.

Probably….

 

Just an Illusion – Friday Fictioneers

Posted on by | 83 Comments

Friday Fictioneers. On a Saturday!  Who’d a thunk?  Why not is what I say.  Thank you, always, to Rochelle for hosting this weekly challenge.  And thanks to Miles Rost for the use of this great picture.  Should you want to play, just click on the frog below and add your 100 words’ worth!   G’head, it’s a great way to learn how to cut the fat in your writing.

©Miles Rost

Art card High Wire | Etsy

Click to play!

Just an Illusion

How do you do that?

Do what?

Balance it all. Get everything done.

Wherever did you get that idea?

I watch you. I see.  You seem to have a handle on everything.

Ha ha! Trust me, I don’t. It may look like it but oh, hell no. I do not. Not even close!

I think you’re pulling my leg. Tell me how you do it.

Listen to me. And don’t look too closely.  I am the queen of illusion. I flit, I dance, it’s all smoke and mirrors.

Fake it till you make it?

More like baffle them with bullshit.

 

 

 

 

Weekend Writing Prompt #209 – Wanton

Posted on by | 75 Comments

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in the comments.  This was a fun one!  Thank you for continuing this fun prompt, Sammi!

wk 209 wanton

 

What a tramp! Look at her flaunting her bosoms and bottom in that figure-forming dress!

Good grief, how archaic are you?  Why such a wanton attack on a woman who is confident in her own sexuality?

What does Chinese food have to do with this?

What?

Wonton. You said–

Wanton, fool

You mean sexually promiscuous.

More like malicious and unprovoked.

 

Totally random shot… but this flower is kinda confidently sexy, no?

 

What a Deal! – Friday Fictioneers

Posted on by | 150 Comments

It’s Wednesday!  And looky here! It’s my photo and yet another that was used in a Crispina prompt!  That Rochelle does like to challenge me, doesn’t she? Making me have to come up with something new.  I tell ya. Click on the frog below to add your link, should you be so inspire!

Garden Toad House Frog Home Outdoor Lawn Decor Statues & Lawn Ornaments Garden Décor

What a Deal!

I know we’ve visited quite a few properties but there is one more I want to see. Check the listing:  ‘Lake front property, beautiful views, three bedrooms, two baths’.  It’s a steal at two hundred and fifty K.

Steal or robbery?  At that price I’m thinking it’s a shack, ready for demolition!

Maybe it’s a succession thing and they just want to get rid of it!  Who knows until we go see, right?

I guess it can’t hurt to go visit. Just don’t get your hopes up.

***

Welp. Definitely not a succession thing.

They should rephrase that to In-Lake property.

 

Purple Preoccupation – Friday Fictioneers

Posted on by | 133 Comments

It’s Wednesday. It’s time to try to write a 100-word story with beginning, middle and end using this picture as inspiration. Some days a bunch of ideas get jumbled together only to be tossed aside by an earworm. Go figure. Sometimes, you just gotta go with the flow! If you want to play along, just click on my singing frog below and add your link. G’head, you know you wanna….

©Anne Higa

Abeka | Clip Art | Singing Frog—with a black vest and bow tie

Click me to play!

Purple Preoccupation

printable images musical notes | Universal PLS4.60 60W laser w/Rotary | Song notes, Music notes, Music note symbol It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater. One-eyed, one–”

Stop!

You don’t like?

No! Major earworm!

Fine. Case of 36) Beistle Molded Plastic Musical NotesPurple rain, purple rain–

What’s wrong with you?

Nothing. How about: Music Notes, Song, Melody Or Tune Flat Vector Icon For Musical.. Royalty Free Cliparts, Vectors, And Stock Illustration. Image 84438442.Purple haze all in my brain–

You fixated on the colour purple or something?

Yeah, I guess you could say that.

Why?

See that picture up there?

Yeah, so?  Ohhhh… lemme guess.  Rochelle’s prompt?

Yeah. Had an idea about the results of an eye operation left me seeing all things purple.

Sounds lame.

Right. So?

printable images musical notes | Universal PLS4.60 60W laser w/Rotary | Song notes, Music notes, Music note symbol I just wanna drive ’til I run out of highway, Into the purple sky

 

 

Home Sweet Homes – Crimson’s Creative Challenge #125

Posted on by | 64 Comments

When I saw Crispina’s choice of photo for her challenge, I immediately thought of one I had shared very recently. Of course I needs must…

Home Sweet Homes

Oh, I just love your place!  It is so green and sunny yet you’re protected from too much sun.  That stump makes a perfect table, to boot.  However, only one chair? Is it because you prefer to be alone or it’s just the way it is?

Thank you so much.  Yes, I do love it. The seclusion is a bonus and it’s not too far from society that I become a hermit! I am hoping to add another chair.  How about you?  Will you invite me over to your place?

Yes. You should know that I have a bit of a situation going on right now.

What do you mean?

How about you come for a walk with me.  Seeing is so much easier than trying to describe it.

***

Oh wow!  What a fantastic view!  Riverside!  And look at that! Two chairs and such a lovely table, and a lamp! Your décor is rather eclectic too!

Why thank you!  So glad you like.  You can see, however, there is a situation…

Yeah… Think the water level will go down soon?

I sure hope so.  Think I could stay at your place until then?  I’ll bring a chair…

Whining for Wine

Posted on by | 84 Comments

Merril is hosting Prosery Monday at dVerse today.  Hard to resist.  So, why?  Only thing is we must use the phrase:  “I prefer keeping in mind even the possibility that existence has its own reason for being.” A line in Wisława Szymborska’s “Possibilities”.  Well. I did what I could with it 😉

Bundled up against the biting cold, I try to remember Charles Dickens’ quote about it being that type of day in March when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold and can’t remember the rest of it, but know it’s bang on today.

“Gah!” Terri breaks my reverie. “Why does March have to be this way?  Like pick a temp, already! Be cold till you’re not but stop teasing us with a few warm days in between!”

I laugh at my friend.  “You know, I prefer keeping in mind even the possibility that existence has its own reason for being.”

“What? Da hell hogwash is that? There is no reason to this season!  What purpose is there for being so unreasonable? And why are we not inside by the fire with a glass of wine?”

“We had to earn it first!”

“Hmph!

I’m Sure I’ll Miss You

Posted on by | 64 Comments

A little dVerse quadrille, using the required “Go” word. Funny how you can have a set idea and then one little word sets you in the wrong direction.  Nothing a little sleep can’t cure, right?

Kitchen’s clean when I get home

Counter’s free of mess

No banged nose trying to open the door

shoes make good doorstops, I guess

You’re moving out you say?

You’ll miss us, when we go

no more complaining for you

Sad (perhaps) but true

 

Price of Peace and Quiet – Friday Fictioneers

Posted on by | 69 Comments

How could I resist Rochelle’s “DOUBLE-DOG DARE YOU TO NOT write a story that has to do with lockdown, quarantine or the big C-19″ using this photo by Trish Nankivell? I could not.  Not that I have in the last almost eleven months, but still.  It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. Click on the frogs below to read more stories or to add your very own!.

Image result for frog with toilet paper

Click to play!

Price of Peace and Quiet

Lianne sighed in pleasure, relishing the quiet.  She took a sip of her coffee, picked up her book and started reading. Less than a paragraph in she stopped, realising it was too quiet.

“Daisy?  Whatchu doing, honey?”  No answer.  No bueno.  Peace and quiet always comes at a price.

As she entered the playroom, Daisy jumped on her.

“Hi Mommy!  Come and play with me!”

Lianne looked at the long strips of toilet paper that went the length of the room. and the stack of empty rolls at the end.

“Bowling?”

Daisy handed her a full roll. “You go first!”

Nudges – Friday Fictioneers

Posted on by | 93 Comments

Another silly one from me for Friday Fictioneers. Nudging the muse doesn’t always bring literary genius but step by step, right?  Thank you, Rochelle, for finding a way to always be there every Wednesday.  And thank you to Marie Gail Stratford for the use of your photo.  If you want to read more inspired stories, click on the frog.  Better yet, add your own 🙂

©Marie Gail Stratford

Cup Of Water PNG Images | Vector and PSD Files | Free Download on Pngtree

 

Want me to put your water bottle in the fridge?

No, leave it there please.

But you have one on the table, too.

Yes, and there are more.

Dude, what the hell?

I made myself a promise to drink at least eight bottles per day, as recommended.

Okay… but this is a little extreme, no?

Listen, if I see it, I drink it.  If I don’t, I completely forget.

Seems like an expensive and not very ecological solution.

I tried using glasses.  Do you know how many I’ve knocked over? And no worries, I refill these.

Whatever works for you.