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Crossing Paths – Crimson’s Creative Challenge #34

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It’s been a little while since I participated in Crispina’s challenge. Life and all that. Inspiration and all that. However, today, here I am with a little poem and a responding picture of mine.

Have a fabulous Tuesday – what’s left of it!

Crossing Paths

“We should meet in another life, we should meet in air, me and you.”
― Sylvia Plath

How long and how far matter not, in

Time spent sharing our friendship

There is no reason to quantify or qualify

And every reason to cherish it

Be it months or years or decades

Casual, formal, or all in

That old cliché poem

“A reason, a season, a lifetime”

Speaks the truth

The short and the sweet: thank you for our time

The on-going, going strong, let’s keep on keeping on!

The gone too-soon but never to be forgotten?

May we meet again in another realm

Pierre, Patricia, Roxanne, Brenda, Guy, Mick, Richard, Patrick

I’ll be expecting it. Me and all of you

Up in the air

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Word count: 121

Ridiculously Optimistic or Foolishly Delusional

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“See me for who I am, and then you’ll see the real me.”
― Anthony T. Hincks

I have had many adjectives assigned (allotted? thrown?) to/at me over the years.  Most, I believe, are positive:  athletic, strong, caring, generous, beautiful, smart, intelligent, cultured, interesting, resilient (why do I cringe with this one?), open, accepting, helpful, talented, optimistic, realistic, honest, funny.  Some, I know, are negative:  bitchy, cold, heartless, naive, disorganized, lazy, delusional, ridiculous, foolish, sarcastic (on the fence on where this one belongs) – there are surely more but why focus on the negative?  And some fall somewhere in-between; or rather, I know they are not necessarily negative per se, but when they were thrown at me, were not meant to be complimentary:  eccentric, weird, different.  Many, as you can see, are contradictory because perception is, well, what you perceive.

One day I will get to the point in my life where I can say this is my philosophy as well.  I am working on it.  I like to think I’m a good 75% there.

What has this got to do with my title?  Everything.  And nothing, to tell the truth.  I am, and have been, at various times in my life, every single one of the adjectives above – and more.  And will again in the future.  Because that is who I am. What you see, is what you get.  No one is all good, all the time, no matter what people say or think (ridiculously optimistic)?  Nor are they all bad, all the time either (foolishly delusional)?

I’m blathering.

Because I have been thinking lately about friendships and romance.  And won’t lie.  Have been rather frustrated and kinda lonely at times.  Maybe I’ve been thinking too much!

We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It’s a death trap.

— Anthony Hopkins

And, much as I say I have no expectations, it’s really hard not to have at least a little…

Friendships:  We form all sorts of friendships with people.  Some are surface-type and of lesser import and others go much deeper.  With the deeper ones, we like to think (and can’t help but expect) the other feels the same way about us as we do, them.  It is heartbreaking when you realise that no, you are not on the same wavelength at all.  Sometimes the other plays along to your tune to make you happy until they finally admit to themselves that this is not what they wanted in the first place and slowly drift away or immediately cut ties.  You are left standing wondering what the hell you did wrong and why the music stopped.  The truth is, you did nothing wrong.  And neither did they.  The other had different lyrics in mind.  To be fair, it goes both ways.  And to be even more honest, there rarely is malicious intent (this may be naive of me but I’ll keep that trait, thank you very much).  Of course, it would be wonderful if each communicated to the other their desires from the get-go…

“When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as
the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.”
― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Romance/Sex/Love:  This one is a hard one.  I can say all sorts of things but losing Mick put me in a position I was frankly not that interested in finding myself.  I remember telling him once that I would prefer to keep the devil I knew then to find myself out there on the “market” again.  Thanks a lot, Mick.  What’s a woman to do? 51, working in her own kitchen, all her friends (mostly) are coupled…  How are you supposed to meet people guys?  So I signed up for a couple dating Apps.  Yes, those ones.  And I won’t lie.  I had a lot of fun.  And a lot of headaches.  I was not looking to become part of a full-time couple – not permanently, anyway and not at that particular time 😉  I wanted to go out, do stuff with someone, date.  Not that I have a problem with taking myself to the movies and such; but let’s face it, it is much more enjoyable à deux.  This dating shit is not for the faint of heart, lemme tell you.  I could write a book.  Point is, I go off and on these stupid sites every time I get fed up of being alone and in the hope of meeting someone who wants to do more than have a one-night-stand.  That old optimism thing.  Which I quit again.  Was exhausting.

“…sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I get bored. And sometimes all I want, more than anything else in the world, is to go on a freaking date.”
― Kiersten White, Paranormalcy

I shall call this my little rant.  It shall pass.  It always does.

 

Friendship – Friday Fictioneers

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Another week, another Friday Fictioneers.  As always, a huge thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, author, illustrator, and all-round lovely person, celebrating her fourth anniversary as leader of this group of characters.  Thank you to Peter Abbey for supplying a photo that took me back!

Click on Rochelle’s name for the how-to or click on the Blue frog to read more stores based on this photo or, go crazy, add your own!

Word count: 100

Genre: Memoire

Friendship

 

peter-abbey11

Copyright Peter Abbey

We met on her birthday. September 18, 1981.  She had just turned 17.

How many times I entered the locker room to the sound of “Daaaaaaa-yo! Me say Daaaaaaa-aaaa-aaaa-yo!  Dale no come ‘coz she’s gone to French!” sung at the top of their lungs.  Roxanne and Caroline, long-time friends.

Somehow, it became Roxanne and me.

Never could I have guessed how deep our friendship would become:  love, heartbreak, marriages, births of children, death, heartache, divorce and laughter, so much laughter.  There for each other through thick and thin.

And then it wasn’t.  A fence went up.  And now it’s too late.  She’s gone.

 

Friday Fictioneers – Cup of Tea

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It’s Wednesday, so time for Friday Fictioneers!  I took a break last week because, let’s face it, Christmas and stuff got in the way!  I’m sure you will all forgive me!  This was a repeat prompt for many but not for me.  Thank you, as always, to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting this shindig.  A big thank you to Jean L. Hayes for supplying this wonderful photograph.

Just realised it is the last FF for 2015 so to all of you, Happy New Year!  May 2016 bring you much joy, good health and happiness!

If you want to read more stories or add your own, please click on the blue frog!

Get the inLinkz code

©Jean L. Hays

Word count:  100

Cup of Tea

We met on her seventeenth birthday, September 16, 1981.  Her locker was kitty-corner with mine.

She had the most wonderful laugh – ever.  It started deep in her belly and exploded with an abandon to be heard for, I want to say miles, but that would be exaggerating!  Let’s say, heard throughout the locker room, and just outside the doors!

That laugh did get her into trouble at times – even at my house.  “Roxanne!” my mother would bellow from upstairs, as we let loose in my room.

What I wouldn’t give to have one more cup of tea with her.

 

#WeekendCoffeeShare – Christmas Holidays

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weekendcoffeeshare

My thanks to Diana from Part-Time Monster for hosting this weekly gig.  I’m so happy to have been introduced to it as it replaced my “Gratitude” posts because essentially, when I invite you in for coffee, I am sharing the things I love and am grateful for!  Should you want to read more stories, just click on the picture above and you will be brought to Diana’s post, below it, will be a little blue frog that you can click on to get more stories and, maybe, add your own!

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If we were having coffee, I would have forewarned you that today is a perfect Sunday to be a pyjama (or pajama, if you prefer) day.  So please, feel free to arrive in yours! We are having our first snowfall (no, I do not consider that pretend dusting we had way back in November as the first).  Not that much has fallen but there is enough to coat the rooftops and leave paw prints visible!

First Real Snow
Looking Pretty
Happy Zeke

If we were comfortably settled on the sofa, coffee mug in hand, I would tell you that this past week has been a fun-filled one.  It all started when my friend Leonard invited me to the Comedy Nest in Montreal as Joey Elias was holding a #SupportLocal evening of comedy being held on Sunday evening.  The show started at 8:00 and Leonard’s best bud, Steve (also my comedy date twice now!) would arrive around 7:30.  I got there sometime around 7:45-ish and settled in for an hour and a half of laughter.  They delivered.  The host for the evening was Christ Venditto and he did a fine job.  First up was Leonard Yelle, a good friend of Mick’s and now one of mine!  He thought he was lacking, I thought he did fine (I may be biased), next up was Guido Durante – ohmygosh he was hilarious!  Without taking away anything from the other comics, he was hilarious!  He was followed by a funny Scot, Darren Henwood, then Emma Wilkie, the one brave woman comic (but don’t call her that!  She is a comic, no need to distinguish – hats off to her for that) and finally the headliner was Joey Elias himself.  I love how he just picks on the audience and builds his act upon that.  It is a quick wit he has to do so.  I can definitely see why he is one of Canada’s best and a regular at Montreal’s Just for Laughs!

Chris Venditto
Guido Durante
Darren Henwood
Emma Wilkie
Joey Elias

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I was truly touched by all the sweet, heartfelt comments I got for my letter to Mick on the first anniversary of his death.  As the boys had no exams on that day, thus no school, I ensured I would not work and be there for them.  We went Christmas shopping together, splitting up at the mall, then for dinner at one of his favourite restaurants, Le Barbù.  Turned into a nice mother and sons kind of day.

On Wednesday, Sophie and Charles came by to pick up their last meals for 2015 and gave me a lovely bottle of champagne!  How sweet are they?  So nice to have friends/clients who are so generous.

By the 24th, the boys and I finally finished decorating the house – as much as it was going to be this year.  I cannot believe how working just a few hours per week put me into a total disorganised state.  Oh well, all’s well, that ends well!  Mom and Yvon arrived, arms full of pies, meat pies and bread,  just in time to join Lisa and family for dinner at Del Frisco’s.  No one was in the mood to cook as as we all had no where to go, really, we decided to treat ourselves to dinner made by someone else!  Delicious!

Christmas morning came and we had our little gift exchange then prepared for the onslaught!  You see, since, um, geez, I don’t know how long ago, Mick made Christmas brunch for family and friends.  Whoever felt like dropping by for eggs, bacon, sausages, waffles, “Momosis” (Mick never called them Mimosas) and coffee, were welcome.  A tradition that we have continued.  Last year was obviously bust, but this year, Iain took up his father’s mantle at the stove.  He did a fabulous job and all left with very full bellies!  One of the fun things about this brunch is some arrive in their PJs, some dressed up, there is a rotating group at the couch and another at the dining table and the whole thing is quite cacophonous – there is nothing neat about it and that’s what I love!

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After a supposed rest, I made cranberry sauce and my infamous, already-full-of-booze eggnog and off we went to Lisa and Chris’ for Christmas dinner!  We had our fun gift exchange – where presents are not supposed to cost more than $25 each, we play a game where our names (twice) are put into a hat and we draw.  You have the choice between taking a new present or stealing.  Always fun when your name gets picked last!  There was a highly popular popcorn machine and my 64 oz flask did a couple of rounds too.  Laughs galore then more eats.  Lisa also made her annual Greek butter almond cookies “Kourabiedes” and we all went home with a tin!  Yeah!!  I forgot my camera and am extremely disappointed in my new cellphone’s camera (or, maybe I have simply not mastered it yet as it is supposedly a fabulous camera…) so apologies for the crappola pictures!

Waitin for the game to start
Cousins clowning around
Goodies!

If we were still having coffee, and I hope I haven’t bored you to tears by now, I’d tell you that I worked my first ever Boxing Day yesterday.  Truth be told, it was a lot less insane than I thought it would be.  And on top of it I sold a rug and a papasan!  Last night, Gabriella came by to wish us a Merry Christmas as she didn’t come with her family for brunch.  She ended up staying for a bottle of wine, some Parmigiano Reggiano and we watched From Here to Eternity.  Not a bad end to a lovely week, I say!

I wish for you all a most Happy New Year, keep safe, surround yourselves with loved ones and take the time to just enjoy life!

xoxo

 

 

Sunday Gratitude – May 3, 2015

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What an absolutely glorious week-end!  So beautiful I cannot even remember if the beginning of the week was nice or not!

It was a fairly busy week with lots of fun activities but also moments of just sitting with a book (one must sometimes force one’s self to do that, ya know!)  Played with cupcakes and icing, played with make-up and played in the dirt.

Fern
Lilac
Azalea

Gratitude List

  1. So thankful Mick was such an organized guy.  “His” shed was a jigsaw puzzle with all the pertinent pieces placed “just so”.  I was able to take out the BBQ, table, chairs, etc. all by myself and place them in their appropriate places.  Am now able to have an outdoor dinner party!

  2. As mentioned earlier this week, it was my Mary Kay launch, which went well; and, our little team got together so we can better prepare our .  Feeling like it won’t be such a hurdle.

  3. Made cupcakes for Cathy (36!) which were well-received.  She took the time to send me a note to let me know that she wished I could hear the compliments.  Well, that is all I needed! xo

  4. I worked in the gardens all week-end.  Well, not ALL week-end but a good portion of it and most of the left-over leaves and such have been cleared away.  Starting to look nice and tidy!  Iain helped out in the veggie garden, working hard to remove the remaining wild grasses ~ those suckers go deep and tangle together and do not want to let go.  (Ugh.  I hated those!  Sorry Mick…)

  5. I have made a few friends through the blogosphere.  I never expected this to happen.  I was just putting my stuff out there to see if what I had to say would resonate with anyone out there.  Well, somehow, I got more than that.  Real friendships have emerged through all the bantering and discussions and laughs.  I am truly blessed! xoxo to you all!

 

The Kindness of “Strangers”

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One can meet people anywhere.  Taking a classes, doing the groceries, through other friends.  Sometimes we don’t even meet them in person, yet we click and a friendship forms ~ sometimes even more so because of the lack of face-to-face.  This is why I put the word “Strangers” in quotes.

I can say with certainty that I am so well surrounded by these “Strangers” that I feel totally blessed.    Some I have been exchanging with for over a year, some less; some have been through Facebook, some through the blogging world and some on Google+.  Who would think that taking an on-line photography course would bring in a new batch of friends?  I could not, nor would not, want to change these wonderful meetings.

I know I’ve mentioned this before but, too bad, I’m doing so again!  These new friends are very special to me.  Have helped me during this most difficult time. Have surprised me with their kindness.

Today the mailman came by and placed a box beside my door. What a wonderful surprise!  A box!  Now who doesn’t enjoy receiving a package with their name on it?  Come on…no one!  It is the coolest thing.  The anticipation of opening up the package to see what is inside ~ the best!

This box had a rattle inside, like there were pieces of Legos or other small items.  I knew without looking at the return label just who they were from…

Jerri DeCarolis, a most wonderful woman who took a photography course with me was making Pfeffernuse (Pepper Nuts) and had posted a picture of them in our Google classroom.  I asked her what they were (as they were lined up on a Silpat) and she told me and then I jokingly (ok, half-jokingly) wrote “want”.  And she asked me for my address!  She explained that they were an old Belgian family recipe that are only made at Christmas by herself and her aunt because they were so time-consuming.

AND. SHE. MADE. SOME. FOR. ME!!!

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Jerri!  I just love you to bits for this!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

And yes, when I do get myself out to Colorado, I am so contacting you (as you will me, should you finally make it to the Montreal area!!)

 

A New Normal

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It’s 12:30 a.m. and my guests have just left.  I’m standing in front of the window, at the kitchen sink, doing dishes and thinking:  “This is NOT my job!  It’s yours, Mick MacIsaac!!  I’m the official cook and table setter and YOU’RE the dishwasher and otherwise helper of all things entertaining…  Why am I doing YOUR job?”  But no, this is no longer my normal.  Just as I’m thinking that I really could ask the boys to do the dishes, to share in the entertaining duties, my eldest, Iain, comes into the kitchen and says:  “Hey Mom, I’ll do the dishes.”  My heart warms and I tell him that no thanks, I appreciate the offer but I’ll take care of it.  He can go back to playing his computer game with his brother because hearing them laugh and tease each other makes me even happier than having them do the dishes!

Besides, as I am doing said dishes, I am sort of meditating, composing this post and just thinking random thoughts.  This was my first official dinner party since Mick’s passing ~ it was only fitting that it be with one of Mick’s oldest and dearest friends, Andre, and his wife, Tammy.  I admit to having some trepidation at having them over on my own as, no matter how much they love me (and I know they do), I cannot help thinking this is Mick’s friend, not mine, and they are coming here because they feel obligated to and there will be discomfort.  I am very happy to say there was none of that.  Yes, we did reminisce about Mick, which is kind of normal considering this was our first time seeing each other since his funeral.  We were even joined by the neighbours Robert & Julie for a bottle of wine (or two) before dinner as they also wanted to connect with A & T and share some moments.  (I tried inviting them to stay for dinner but they declined….)

Preparing this dinner, setting the table, buying the wine ~ all these normal activities ~ brought a sadness and wistfulness at first.  We used to share in these duties.  I may have even gotten misty-eyed a couple of times during the day.  But then, as the time of their arrival got nearer, I felt a sense of Yes, I am happy to share my table with friends, to break bread (if I had remembered to buy some) with them, toast the man who brought us into each others’ lives and laugh at our various adventures we had had with him.  In his honour, I made all of his favourites:  Carrot-bacon soup (though Andre thought I was making his favourite!), penne à la Gigi, salad in frico cheese bowls and finally, key lime pie…  It was a simple way of having Mick be with us (besides hanging around in his bottle of Coke on the mantel!)

We felt close to each other, set a date for our next get-together (oh dear… my annual “drink-shooters-with-the-boys-for-Andre’s-birthday-night”), hugged tightly and promised to not lose touch with each other.  I’m feeling optimistic!

I think I am slowly finding my new normal…

 

 

Our Friendship

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I dropped you off after a delicious evening
There was good food and wine,
But the deliciousness came from our talk
Fun talk, serious talk, honest talk.
Driving home, listening to “Tonic” on CBC Radio 2
A jazzy version of “West Side Story” is playing.

I’m crying.

No, not the gulping, tear-flowing, hiccupping kind –
The throat so tight and the eyes burning kind.
It’s the “fight scene” part of the music
So representing what’s going inside of me.
My emotions are all over the map, fighting with each other
Yet I’m not sad, nor hurt and far from mad
I’m all of those and also glad.

You, my friend, had put a mirror in my face
And told me to take a good look
No, no, not in so many words
You pushed and you shoved and you pushed again
Not out of hate, out of love
Giving me shit for not committing to something
Telling me I’m brilliant and can do whatever I set my mind to
I look at you in disbelief and reply “oh please! in what way?”
You give me shit again! And again tell me I can (do anything)
I laugh and nod to placate you but also
Because deep-down I know you’re right

The song has changed to the velvet-voiced, Mel Tormé
Singing “Who Can Ask For Anything More?”

My mood has turned reflective
Who would have thought a friendship would bloom
In a woman’s-only gym, sweating to crappy dance music
A bunch of loud-mouthed Anglo broads taking up the corner
Of the mostly-French-frequented establishment
Convincing me to join you in that crazy Spinning class
Picking up our toddlers from the gym’s daycare
We’re not in the same tax bracket and it doesn’t matter
There are no feelings of “better than” or “not good enough”
It’s comfortable

Next thing I know, you are secretly invited to my 38th birthday
Where they put a “39” candle on my cake!
You fit right it and are nicknamed “Mouth” by my mother
It’s a sign that you are just like us

This is the real start to our regularly getting together
Outside of the gym for movies or lunch or dinner
We become a trio with Brenda, who is sadly no longer with us
We get together with husbands and kids

That said, we are happiest being just the two of us

Life happens: hearts broken, divorce, new loves,
Last-minute wedding invitations, death
We have times where we don’t see each other for months
But it matters not
We just pick up where we left off as if not a day has gone by

Though at times frustrated by your lack of ability to
Just pick up the damn phone and call
I’ve given in and accepted you for who you are as you have for me
I do know that if you do need someone for anything
I will be the first one you’ll call and I’ll be there for you
And when my turn comes
You will be there with a roast, a coffee cake, an Ativan

I don’t want to make the mistake I did with Brenda and Roxanne
They are no longer with us, it’s too late
So allow me to take this moment to tell you
While you are alive and kicking
Though, like me, you don’t come from an “I love you”
Kind of family, I’ll tell you anyway
I love you, my friend Patricia!

This will be us in many years!

old friends

And remember

bra

Gratitude Sunday – August 17, 2014

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This past week has been one of those ones where nothing in particular has stood out to make me feel “Wow, now this goes on my Sunday list”.  That said, it doesn’t mean I don’t have loads of things to be grateful for!

Beautiful bud
Finally opening
Almost full bloom
Sunflower

Gratitude List:

  1. My sunflowers are finally making an appearance!  I thought they’d never bloom as many of their leaves were gobbled by voracious insects…

  2. Friendships created on-line that I am convinced will move into the in-person phase one day.

  3. Lunch dates with my husband at a great bistro in town.

  4. Having seats protected from the rain when watching our soccer team finally win a game in a very heavy downpour.

  5. After a perfectly grey and rainy and cold week, the sun begins to shine on the Sunday; reminding us that summer is so not over!